Deathmatch 2021 Part III: It's a sing-song ding-dong

Jim · June 26, 2021, 9:43am

Names have been drawn from the very oil barrel – the very one, mind – into which Eric Serra chucked pans, pebbles and puppy skulls to create the GoldenEye score.

Imagine if you will the Groups being lovingly displayed ‘pon the 007 Store’s Monty Norman Decorative Plate (RRP £215,000.00). A treat for an unloved one, this objet de vertu is handcrafted for your pleasure, bearing around its gilded edge the inspiring motto “The James Bond Theme written by Monty Norman and Don’t You Ever Bloody Forget That”, and depicting heartwarming pastoral scenes albeit curiously these are mostly pictures of lawyers.

Qualification criteria – a song for these purposes has words as well as a tune (do keep up) and is:

the song played over the opening (or, in the case of From Russia with Love, closing) credits; or
if no song is played over the opening credits, then it is the song most readily associated through repetition during the film.

Fine, so the melody of Surrender is heard ad nauseam throughout Tomorrow Never Dies, but the film does have a song played over the opening credits, so see a), shove your b) and cease your snivelling.

Someone will doubtless point out that Do You Know How Christmas Trees Are Grown? is ectually heard far more frequently in OHMSS than We Have All the Time in the World, and that Jump Up lasts longer than Underneath the Mango Tree, and that same someone will now be performing a selection of sodding-off lifestyle choices.

For those of you who haven’t listened to No Time to Die and are saving yourselves for how it works alongside the CGI nudey ladies and vital information about who designed the frocks, that’s fine; don’t vote for it. You be you. Have a badge. You can be whatever you want to be. Apart from all those things that you’re far too thick and/or lazy to be, but just sufficiently thick and/or lazy to believe the lie “You can be whatever you want to be”. You utter, utter cretin.

Pip pip

Jim

Pronouns of choice: He, It, Yo’ Mama

Group Stages - see separate posts

Round 2 - Top 2 in each Group – 10, plus 2 highest placed 3rd places - makes 12 (it does, it really does).

Quarter-Finals – Winners plus 2 Lucky losers - makes 8 (it is claimed).

Semi-Finals – Winners of QFs.

3rd place Sing-Off – losers of Semi-Finals.

Final – winners of Semi-Finals.

Jim · June 28, 2021, 8:43am

Group Stage ends:

Group A	Played	Won	Lost	For	Against	Avge	Avge vote %	Points
Live and Let Die	4	4	0	69	7	16	90	12
Thunderball	4	3	1	50	26	6	66	9
For Your Eyes Only	4	2	2	45	31	4	60	6
All Time High	4	1	3	20	56	-9	26	3
Underneath the Mango Tree	4	0	4	6	70	-16	8	0

Possibly a bit unfair to include Underneath the Mango Tree, but life is far away from fair, is it not? Fairly clear gulf between first and next two and then another gulf with All Time High not getting much love. However, For Your Eyes Only doesn’t qualify as a best Third Place - but still could float around the rankings depending what happens from here on in.

Group B	Played	Won	Lost	For	Against	Avge	Avge vote %	Points
You Know My Name	4	4	0	55	21	9	72	12
Nobody Does It Better	4	3	1	51	25	7	67	9
Diamonds are Forever	4	2	2	43	33	3	57	6
From Russia with Love	4	1	3	20	56	-9	27	3
GoldenEye	4	0	4	21	55	-9	28	0

Possibly running to form but GoldenEye performed woefully here, although weirdly did have a higher vote share average than From Russia with Love. That puts it ahead of the other in the ranking, but there’s little way back from four straight defeats.

Group C	Played	Won	Lost	For	Against	Avge	Avge vote %	Points
Goldfinger	4	4	0	59	18	10	77	12
Skyfall	4	3	1	54	22	8	71	9
You Only Live Twice	4	2	2	52	25	7	68	6
The Man with the Golden Gun	4	1	3	20	56	-9	27	3
Die Another Day	4	0	4	6	70	-16	8	0

It’s “the Group with Die Another Day in it” and the traditional outcome occurs here too. You Only Live Twice qualifies as a best Third Place, not least due to the utter hammering it issued to Die Another Day which although gathering (if that’s the word) the same result as Underneath the Mango Tree, will be bottom of the rankings due to two walkovers meted out to it. There is a God.

Group D	Played	Won	Lost	For	Against	Avge	Avge vote %	Points
We Have All the Time in the World	4	4	0	69	11	15	86	12
The Living Daylights	4	3	1	39	41	-1	49	9
No Time To Die	4	2	2	34	46	-3	43	6
Licence to Kill	4	1	3	31	49	-5	39	3
Tomorrow Never Dies	4	0	4	27	53	-7	34	0

Bit of a mixed bag here, as if none actually wanted to finish second. The Living Daylights, despite a negative vote difference and an average suggesting it is more likely to lose a match than win, gets by. No Time To Die may have suffered by being as yet “unseen”. Or it might just not be that great. Next year may determine its fate more clearly.

Group E	Played	Won	Lost	For	Against	Avge	Avge vote %	Points
A View to a Kill	4	4	0	59	21	10	74	12
The World is Not Enough	4	3	1	56	24	8	70	9
Moonraker	4	2	2	49	40	2	62	6
Another Way to Die	4	1	3	18	61	-11	23	3
The Writing’s on the Wall	4	0	4	16	62	-12	21	0

Such a gulf here between third and fourth that Moonraker manages to grab the second Best Third Place slot and get into Round 2. Another Way to Die won a match. There is no God.

Round 2 draw

Live and Let Die v Moonraker
You Know My Name v Thunderball
Goldfinger v Nobody Does It Better
We Have All the Time in the World v Skyfall
A View to a Kill v The Living Daylights
You Only Live Twice v The World is Not Enough

Winners and two Lucky Losers go through to Quarter-Finals.

Rankings as they stand. Even if a Song has not got through, it could still shift up/down depending on performance of others remaining in the tournament…

	Avge
Live and Let Die	90
We Have All the Time in the World	86
Goldfinger	77
A View to a Kill	74
You Know My Name	72
Skyfall	71
The World is Not Enough	70
You Only Live Twice	68
Nobody Does It Better	67
Thunderball	66
Moonraker	62
For Your Eyes Only	60
Diamonds are Forever	57
The Living Daylights	49
No Time To Die	43
Licence to Kill	39
Tomorrow Never Dies	34
GoldenEye	28
From Russia with Love	27
The Man with the Golden Gun	27
All Time High	26
Another Way to Die	23
The Writing’s on the Wall	21
Underneath the Mango Tree	8
Die Another Day	8

Where averages are the same:

From Russia with Love did not lose a Group Stage game as heavily as The Man with the Golden Gun did.
Die Another Day was walked over more than Underneath the Mango Tree was. Oh look, God’s back in the room.

Jim · July 4, 2021, 5:00am

Some Round 2 stats:

Ranking - based on overall share of a vote - some travel here and there and looking like there’s already a clear front-runner.

	Group average	Round 2 average	Place (average) change
Live and Let Die	90	89	(-1)
We Have All the Time in the World	86	78	(-6)
A View to a Kill	74	75	+1 (+1)
Goldfinger	77	73	-1 (-4)
You Know My Name	72	70	(-2)
Skyfall	71	68	(-3)
You Only Live Twice	68	65	+1 (-3)
The World is Not Enough	70	65	-1 (-5)
Nobody Does It Better	67	63	(-4)
Thunderball	66	60	(-6)
For Your Eyes Only	60		+1
Diamonds are Forever	57		+1
Moonraker	62	53	-2 (-9)
The Living Daylights	49	43	(-6)
No Time To Die	43
Licence to Kill	39
Tomorrow Never Dies	34
GoldenEye	28
From Russia with Love	27
The Man with the Golden Gun	27
All Time High	26
Another Way to Die	23
The Writing’s on the Wall	21
Underneath the Mango Tree	8
Die Another Day	8

Maintenance of average share, which shows something-or-other

A View to a Kill	+1
Live and Let Die	-1
You Know My Name	-2
Skyfall	-3
You Only Live Twice	-3
Goldfinger	-4
Nobody Does It Better	-4
The World is Not Enough	-5
We Have All the Time in the World	-6
Thunderball	-6
The Living Daylights	-6
Moonraker	-9

Jim · July 4, 2021, 5:09am

Post Quarter-Finals ranking

	Group average	Round 2 average	QF average	Place (average) change
Live and Let Die	90	89	87	(-3)
We Have All the Time in the World	86	78	73	(-13)
A View to a Kill	74	75	69	(-5)
You Know My Name	72	70	68	+ 1 (-4)
Goldfinger	77	73	65	-1 (-12)
The World is Not Enough	70	65		+2
Skyfall	71	68	64	-1 (-7)
You Only Live Twice	68	65	64	-1 (-4)
Nobody Does It Better	67	63	62	(-5)
Thunderball	66	60
For Your Eyes Only	60
Diamonds are Forever	57
Moonraker	62	53
The Living Daylights	49	43
No Time To Die	43
Licence to Kill	39
Tomorrow Never Dies	34
GoldenEye	28
From Russia with Love	27
The Man with the Golden Gun	27
All Time High	26
Another Way to Die	23
The Writing’s on the Wall	21
Underneath the Mango Tree	8
Die Another Day	8

MrHinx · July 4, 2021, 7:42am

Hard to disagree with that top 3. I’m surprised that DAF did so poorly though: it’s my personal favourite.

Dustin · July 4, 2021, 5:17pm

I’m somewhat surprised by the semi-finals. Three ‘classics’ and one ‘newcomer’ - and of the three old ones two used to be not all that popular with the fanbase for some time*.

*At least that’s how I remember from my, admittedly, entirely personal recollection.

Paco · July 4, 2021, 6:31pm

I agree too. It’s arguably a top 5 Bond song and had a bad draw going up against “You Know My Name” in the first round.

Orion · July 4, 2021, 6:36pm

It is always the problem with leagues, a much worse contender can go far further just by never going against a tough opponent.

Bryce_003 · July 4, 2021, 8:10pm

The other issue is always voting with your mood at the time. I’ve gone back and forth on a few of my choices with each.