From the confines of his comfortable office, he gathers up the dispersed threads of Spectre and the Spangled Gang, completing the legitimization of the operations. Betting that Las Vegas is going to continue to grow, he makes investments in real estate, and eventually becomes one of the biggest landowners in the region.
Fun fact: Nick Pileggi interviewed Morton for his book “Casino,” and Scorsese briefly considered him for role of Billy Sherbert.
Morton Slumber… he can be found doing garden renovation shows on daytime BBC. His signature features are restful chartreuse curtains and angels’ breath gold trim.
He would also be extremely suitable for a TV series, in which we follow someone different every episode, always of course some vague criminal, who eventually ends up alive or not, just like Connery Bond, in the oven at Slumber and then ultimately in an urn, which is then placed in that wall, perhaps each time this is all done by our two good and favorite duo henchmen.
September 14. IT’S INTERNATIONAL DOUBLE SIDESWIPE DAY, EVERYONE! (i.e. two polls; I spoil you). I’ve brought cake. You’re not having any.
You are still Barbara Broccoli (apparently the money is fantastic).
You are a woman of many parts, and one of the parts is to be voted upon below. Do you see what I did there? Please say you saw what I did there? Please. I’ll be nice to you on my YouTube channel and X (formerly known as BrainGrrrrr) and MySpace and LifeWaste, in the hope that some vicarious creativity is bestowed upon me and my husk of a nothingness crumb of a life. For the existence-enriching hope of one femtosecond of your attention, I’ll even go so far as to proclaim that your next Bond film, when and if it emerges, is the best one yet, even though we both know odds are against that, twenty-six in.
Anyway, it remains your ambitious if rancidly misguided edict that all the Bond films are one story, thus opening the trapdoor for returning characters. Today it’s Minor hostiles from the 1960s.
Annabel Chung
Flower Van Driver Man*
Machine-Gun Granny
Kutze
Ling**
Irma Bunt***
0voters
*not that many options for From Russia with Love, tb"h".
**nor You Only Live Twice, and I know Ling isn’t really a villain but it’s an abattoir of a film and there isn’t a minor hostile (other than nameless goons) who isn’t ninja-starred, shot, blown up, shoved into a mini-bar, dropped into fish or (um…) smothered in lava.
***acknowledged as a bit more major than the others, but still alive…and out there…she’s watching you…run.
AND
Something to explain the Ling charade anyway; why don’t they just plant the story and go straight to Bond’s funeral?
Something to explain how the junior officer in the Royal Navy is brutally shot apart in the Liparus battle yet emerges unscathed to become a RAF officer at the start of Moonraker, albeit then exploderated TO DEATH?
Btw, the Flower Van Driver Man’s name in From Russia With Love is Rhoda.
Also, I would have voted for Irma Bunt, but she’s too important a character to be considered minor, so I selected the Hitchockian-type character Machine Gun Granny–a killer no one sees coming.
As for getting an explanation on how the junior officer in the Royal Navy is brutally shot in the Liparus battle in The Spy Who Loved Me and yet returns to become an RAF officer in Moonraker? It’s weird, but going back even to when I first saw the two films fairly close together, I always have been able to pick out the actor Kim Fortune in those scenes and recognize it’s the same actor in both roles, and it always throws me out of the film slightly. I don’t really have that problem with other actors who’ve appeared in more than one film–even if I do recognize them. But for some reason, I always do with Kim Fortune.
Ectually, the series suffers from a disturbing lack of machine gun grannies since 1964 - THAT is what’s really been missing, not that blasted Aston, not the filthy smoking-boozing-fornicating and not the megalomaniac, vaguely German-ancestored villains (no shortage, you practically stumble over one of those whenever you switch on a screen).
What we need to be told are Granny’s exploits after she winged the first bloody DB5, namely how she enlisted with the Spectre HR department and carefully plotted her way to the top while Bond provided her with vacancies and senior positions up the ladder. Her corporate motto - after she took over the organisation from the cold dead hands of one useless Austrian megalomaniac - is: The machine gunnings shall continue until morale improves.
She also bakes one hell of an apple pie to die for.
The Ling charade meanwhile was necessary to throw the PRC authorities off Bond’s scent for three decades until SIS was ready to face them again over Hong Kong’s cold dead nightlife. Ling really thought she’d arranged Bond’s death, the gunmen shot live rounds and only Bond’s Q-mattress of 100% bulletproof Kevlar - try sleeping on one of those - saved him from becoming a sieve.
I meant Kutze, of course. Whose name was changed from Kotze. Which is German for puke. But quite frankly it sounds quite similar as Kutze (imagine changing puke to pjoke).
So the reimagined Pukey guy would, of course, need a huge (hjoge) back story. How did he feel when he was teased for his name on a schoolyard, in German nuclear bomb school? Did it turn him into a Spectre helper or was that just due to him already being vomit inducing from birth?
A close second is Ling who apparently did not see all the blood capsules on Bond‘s body when she made out with him (these Scots do have weird kinks, right?). But maybe her backstory will reveal just that: a bad back which hurt her so bad that she was focused only on getting off that hunk with the tattoo on his arm (and his chesthair already made her kind of kutze).
As to why Ling went through with that charade at all?
BB will know. She just felt it in her guts. The lower parts.
Machine Gun Granny (Clothilde) was the life companion of Mrs. Whistler (Emma). When not on assignment, Clothilde lived a quiet life in South Africa with Emma, and was devastated by her killing. In fact, she had warned Emma against going, but the dear had her heart set on bringing back pictures for the children.
Clothilde engaged in a worldwide search for Emma’s killer(s), and was mightily pissed when Bond got there ahead of her. She has always felt cheated of her rightful vengeance, and been biding her time to pay Bond back for beating her to the flambé (so to speak).
Fun fact: Clothilde and Emma used to throw dinner parties with Mary Renault and Julie Mullard for the expatriate queer community in South Africa.
Hello Barbara. As a point of principle I won’t call you “Babs” as I think that demeans you, although given that you sanctioned “Spectre” and desecrated my soul, it’s not as if I would lack justification in so doing.
Anyway, it’s Sunday, a day of rest after a long week of whatever-it-is-you-did, but as for all of us, on occasion your mind will still wander toward what passes for work. Still determined to hold that all Bond films are one long story? Right then, today’s opportunity for characters to return rests with Non-hostiles from the 1980s. Such as are still “alive”, anyway.
Jacoba Brink
Jim Fanning
Mr O’Rourke, a man from San Francisco who has crabs
Mrs. Brink - apologies, it is MISS Brink… or should I better say Miss BUNT because she is… well, of course not THE Irma having undergone gene therapy - we would never use such tired tropes worthy of a telenovela, no.
But Miss Brink (Bunt) in fact is Irma‘s stepsister (or sister, one step closer to narrative genius, yay!) who has been infiltrating KGB, Mi6, CIA and MAGA since poor Irma had hurt her fingers trying to remove Blofeld‘s neckbrace (euphemism) and could no longer hold a machine gun. Although Brofield had chastised her already for killing Tracy instead of Bond and thrown her into the nearest piranha pool.
Miss Buntenbrink (new code name) is no longer training ice skating bed hoppers, however, but social media influencers who just like to get paid in Rubel. And that transcends borders now, so win-win. She still takes care of her sister who was able to bite away any piranha daring to come near her (before training that dentist-fearing klutz to bite sharks should that come in jawsy).
In the next Bond adventure she will also be revealed as Bond‘s real mother Monique who never died but devised a clever (well…) scheme to make Bond tough enough, only to see that mommy’s boy turn to an ersatz-M, with the only relief of him being unable to prevent her death by Silva who really was Bond‘s in vitro twin, having undergone charisma therapy and styling himself after the latest Spanish acting sensation.
Now, in the twilight of her years (90 is the new 30) she wants to really enjoy life and therefore threatens the world with more plastic surgery - with the world not recognizing a threat because looking like a swollen lion is now the absolute BRINK (new slang). And it helps sowing Bond‘s pieces together so he does not have to hold them anymore.
Jacoba Brink should give us ample opportunity to interweave the Bond films. Up to now we haven’t been told that after pimping out Bibi first to Kristatos, then to Colombo
she took over a back office position with the Octopussy Circus, managing their in-house kindergarten for the duration of their extended world tour with crowd control expertise
after which she moved into a business joint venture with one Heidi Fleiss from Hollywood, a position in which her educational and business talents furthered her expanding network
and lead to a profitable exclusive private practice in the employment of Sir Robert - Bobby for my friends - King as companion and nanny to his daughter Elektra
which in turn lead to a branching out of activities, seeking new markets for her expertise in Macau, where a certain Sévérine was one of her first business transactions [sic and sick]
Brink currently holds business interests in Central Africa and Oceania as well as an international chimney sweep conglomerate and eagerly awaits her copy of the BOND 26 script…
That’s all well and good, but my eyes also want to see something nice and after all I’m on holiday (just going to watch Moonraker again), so Lupe Lamora got my vote!
Jim Fanning was subsequently hired by Christie’s to head its Gold Boxes and Objects of Vertu Department. He is prized for his keen eye and refined sense of discretion.
A member of the Savile Club, he sponsored Q for membership, and has been a mentor–socially and otherwise–to him for many years. In fact, he introduced Q to his current boyfriend (member of the Savage Club).