Both? Despite The Actor?
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Well, it’s mercifully short, is Tomorrow Never Dies, and The Actor Pierce Brosnan isn’t called upon to deliver much by way of his usual most curious tics and poses, so we’re spared that, too. The basic premise is so wild in terms of keeping the British end up that I can forgive it even he. Up to a point.
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The shoulder biting, I presume. Which now always makes me think of how much Connery would have bitten off. Lazenby would have aimed and missed. Moore would have asked whether he could have a quiche instead. Dalton would have been disgusted by the thought. And Craig probably would have belched afterwards.
But I digress. You know, probably one of the most disappointing consequences of having no new film in sight is having no new chapter of the 007minute.
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Yes, but in fairness, someone’s cast as Batman every six months or so, whereas people born when Craig was cast are technically old enough to have children of their own, now.
But maybe UK audiences should be more emotionally invested in Batman’s casting given the last two guys to wear the cowl were Brits. Plus two Spider-Men and a Superman. Maybe we Yanks are due an American Bond now…
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I’m American and strongly feel that James Bond should NOT be played by an American. Hollywood produces plenty of American heroes (Indiana Jones, John McClane, Jack Ryan, etc.) we don’t need to take over another one that isn’t ours. Bond is distinctly British and suave–enough so that an American actor wouldn’t work in the role. Harry Saltzman and Cubby Broccoli struck the right mix when looking for their original 007 and it’s never changed–a suave, elegant Brit combined with the toughness and hard-edge of an American–traits that they felt would appeal–and did–to both those in the U.K. and the U.S. and, evidently, the rest of the world as well.
Now, having said that, I do believe that, in addition to a Brit, Bond CAN be played by an Australian, a Kiwi, an Irishman, or a South African. But that’s it–no one else. Maybe it’s the accent, but to my non-Brit ears, they sound “relatively” close enough to pass for British and they are more “exotic”-sounding than an American. So, with all things being equal, they would work as Bond for me. But any actor outside those countries, (i.e. German, French, etc.) like an American, would not be right.
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December 3.
Examining them more closely, and with the fascinated contempt one sometimes has for a suspiciously-scented stool, it appears that “Vesper socks” appears to be socks with a poorly-represented Martini glass machine-woven into them. It could equally be the Tin Man’s hat, upside down. They are possessed of low quality. I do not want these and if anyone has the temerity to give them to me for Christmas, or upon any other occasion, I shall come round to their poorly-furnished bivouac to administer consequential losses.
Anyway, enough of those, back to a marginally less mediocre Badvent Calender.
Who’s hiding behind today’s little window? Shall we see? Ooh, let’s.
Oh look, it’s latex-lipped funster (and near-neighbour although he’s never met me, fact fans) Rowan Atkinson! Hello Rowan! Merry Christmas, Rowan! Mrs Jim asks if she can “borrow” one of your many fine sportscars. What do you mean, no? That’s not very Christmassy. Right, it’s Vesper socks for you, then.
Recently Rowan gave an interview to someone somewhere expressing regret about his performance choices in Never Say Never Again, albeit describing the film in otherwise reasonably positive ways. He is, of course, apocalyptically misguided; his performance as Nigel Small-Fawcett (it’s a pun on “tiny willy” everyone!) is awful, but the film is worse.
Set me thinking - for those involved at a front-of-house level, including director and writers I s’pose, is Never Say Never Again the worst thing they’ve done? This one might be touch-and-go; after all, Connery and Basinger have both been in many a stinker, and one understands Kershner emitted The Empire Strikes Back.
- Yes, Never Say Never Again is a career low for its major participants.
- No, all of them were in or directed (etc.) even worse things.
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Apart from the lackluster finale I always liked Connery‘s „You only live thrice“-„Thunderball-tribute-band“.
And it seems to have gone the typical Bond way: starting with huge ambition and great ideas, and then the reality of filmmaking set in.
With lots of people being small-faucets.
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McClory - who seems to have been a very particular character indeed - had been going with this since his ten year restriction ran out in 1976. The rumours about a HAMMERHEAD/JAMES BOND OF THE SECRET SERVICE/WARHEAD script by Len Deighton and a possible return of Connery kept fans on the edge for years (and apparently delayed THE SPY WHO LOVED ME as well as a possible recasting after FOR YOUR EYES ONLY). For long years this has been a holy grail/white elephant of the fandom.
Reading the summary of that WARHEAD script - indeed strikingly similar to what THE SPY would turn out to be - I’m not sure the finale in the New York sewers would really have been anything but an expensive shit show with mechanical sharks. And nuking the Arctic ice shield to flood the world, what a bizarre idea to think anybody would pay to prevent this…
In the end it didn’t matter; McClory could only do a remake of THUNDERBALL, nothing beyond. What we got with NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN was a few moments of interest inside a story we’ve seen before. Mildly entertaining up to a point, but probably not worth all the drama. But also far from the worst effort in the history of Bond.
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NSNA served on a silver plate for a simple bona fide axing.
I don’t know how, but I’m sure it’s a trap. It has to be. Nice try, though.
No, I’m certain that all of the major players were involved in worse things (even though it might take some time to look it up properly, which I can’t be bothered with).
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I’m with Stromberg here. Everyone has been in much, much, much worse, especially the lead; SC has always been one to “do it for the money” but unlike his good pal Michael Caine, who has some good throwaway lines about that aspect of the trade, SC’s puritanical Scotsman is far more to the point.
Let’s see…in an entertainingly bad way (from a filmography of duds) we’ve got Basinger in a needless The Getaway remake; Atkinson in a number of Johnny English(es); Van Sydow in Flash Gordon (depending how one feels about that film - is it more “honestly” camp than NSNA???).
Edward Fox was in Wild Geese 2 and…Force 10 From Navarone. Michel Legrand did the music for Steve McQueen’s Le Mans. I could go on…
In fact with an entirely straight face (because I’ve sat through all of the above), I’d offer that Brandaeur is the only one for whom NSNA is the nadir, and yet he’s a brilliant Largo.
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Obviously any Connery fan would know he’d participated in some infamous stinkers like The Next Man, Cuba, Wrong is Right, Meteor, Medicine Man and others, finishing with the lamentable one-two punch of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Sir Bili. All of those were worse than NSNA. Basinger was in I Dreamed of Africa, Charlie St Cloud and Fifty Shades Darker. Barbara Carrera was in Condorman and Wild Geese II. I haven’t seen much of Klaus Maria Brandauer’s filmography, but he did do Streets of Gold with Wesley Snipes, which was pretty lousy. Edward Fox was in Lost in Space (1998). Max Von Sydow did Judge Dredd with Stallone, and while the rest of the world seems to have embraced it as a triumph of camp, I left Flash Gordon (1980) uncertain whether it was deliberately awful or accidentally so. Even Kirschner would go on to give us Robocop 2.
As a Bond film, I consider NSNA Connery’s worst, but it’s far from any participant’s career low point. And compared to some of the lousy projects Sean cashed a check for, it’s a cinematic masterpiece.
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As a fan of the character I had forgotten this - the Stallone version is washed from my brain, never ever existing in my own personal universe.
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The only thing I remembered about ROBOCOP 2
was that it was dreadful, so I just looked that up. Here’s what I found in one of its rare positive reviews (by Globe and Mail’s Jay Scott):
…because Irvin Kershner, the engineer of sequels that often zip qualitatively past the originals (The Empire Strikes Back , The Return of a Man Called Horse , and the best Sean Connery–James Bond of all, Never Say Never Again ), has tuned-up the premise until it purrs."
I still keep a treasure trove of fond memories on THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. But a recent rewatch (before my Disney+ subscription expired, not to be renewed) showed me a film with the weirdest internal pacing. One must assume Luke is certainly for weeks if not several months or longer on Dagobah to get at least some training in the use of the Force.
And yet, the second plotline around Han and Leia seems to move within a few hours to Bespin and the Cloud City. None of the human(oid) crew seem to be in need of food, sleep or a change of clothes. Even if we assume all that happening during many hours of boring waiting-out-tie-fighters inside the asteroid field, nothing indicates a journey taking longer than days at most. By the time the Millennium Falcon arrives on Bespin Luke should hardly have arrived on Dagobah.
Naturally, this didn’t bother me at all at the time. Nor does it now. With Star Wars it’s a feature, not a bug. 
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Condorman.
Condorman.
Haven’t thought about it for years, and my childhood comes a-flooding back. I loved Condorman.
However, that’ll because I was about 8 years old and 8-year-olds are fools. I suspect I would find it dreadful now.
Flash Gordon was dreadful even then.
Sort of, you know my methods, but ectually a ruse to get some Never Say Never Again appreciation going, albeit of the backhanded compliment variety running “at least it isn’t as bad as [ ]”. Amazing that some of these persons had careers, such is the tat they were in / made.
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Various trailers for CONDORMAN on YouTube. I’ve taken the liberty to select the least dodgy one - doesn’t look too bad really…,
Although that title card looks hideously like a Nazi eagle I admit.
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Indeed. And I always am baffled that EMPIRE despite its many virtues has knocked off STAR WARS from the throne of the saga. It’s a great sequel, but the original is and will always remain the best.
(No nostalgia was harmed during the writing of this paragraph.)
As for FLASH GORDON: it is camp and silly and weird… but it transported my young teenage self into hours of wonder and amazement, with songs of my first favourite band. I still love it.
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Well, previous Flash Gordon adaptations looked like this, so…
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Fond memories of the 1936 serial. It used to be on TV in the early 1980s, and my brother and I didn’t miss a single episode. The first series is an absolute gem, the second one was made for years later and is so-so. The third one is a bit off and one clearly notices that they ran out of ideas. Was lucky to find a box set a few years ago for under 15 Euros. Absolutely worth the money.
My memories of the movie: it was opening day of the newly renovated local cinema (used to be two large showrooms and a really really small one in the basement for adult movies, which they had turned into six shoe boxes). Tickets were 1 Deutschmark, special price. Flash Gordon was the main attraction in rooom Nr 1, and the whole town was queuing for it (a literal blockbuster). It took ages to get tickets. Just me, I didn’t care at all. I wanted to see Let it Be, which was shown in Nr 4 and which was the only Beatles film I hadn’t seen until then because it hadn’t been on TV (and it was only showing on that opening day). At the end, I missed the first 20 minutes and was absolutely pissed. Of course, I put the blame on that Flash Gordon movie and subsequently refused to watch it for several years. 
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I loved the old serials and their cheesy effects, which were doubtless astonishing at the time. In particular I liked how the rocketship always ran so noisily and shot sparks out the back like the whole thing might go up in an electrical fire at any moment. Plus it was great how it could never just make a straight-on landing but had to spiral down in circles like a dog settling down for an afternoon nap. And there was that one episode set in a floating city where Flash leads a revolt among the slaves charged with feeding the furnaces that kept the place aloft, but only on one side, so the whole city suddenly lists over to the right and everyone goes flying.
I have all three on disc as well but tend to only watch the first one. Of course George Lucas famously wanted to update Flash to the screen but was denied the rights, unleashing Star Wars on the world, but it’s fascinating to imagine what he might’ve done with the property. The 1980 film, instead of trying to compete with Star Wars, opted to just send up the original films, but where the old ones could get by on charm and a certain can-do, “Hey kids, let’s put on a show in the barn!” spirit, there was something offensive to me about spending millions to deliberately make something that looked cheap and fake. Also, while Flash was never what you’d call an intellectual hero, I never thought of him as a dimbulb athlete who’d run around in a t-shirt with his own name printed on it and stage a “football” game with a robot’s head or whatever it was. Also with all those wonderful Alex Raymond-drawn costumes to choose from, I can’t believe they put Flash in that stupid red wife-beater.
On the upside, there’s Topol and Brian Blessed and that dashing Errol Flynn-ish Prince Barin guy who would go on to be James Bond. But on the whole, not something I needed to see more than the one time. Even then I would have skipped it except a girl I liked said Sam Jones was a “babe” and I wanted to check out the competition. Just as well I did, because I figured if that was an indication of her tastes and standards, I could save a lot of time and heartache by focusing my attentions elsewhere.
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Yes, yes, yes and yes 
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