Atomised into the ground, it seems.
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Yes–so much for Psychology Bond. Robot Bond’s end was more pleasant.
Is there a new archetype that Bond can assume?
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Consequence.
Villains born of the consequences of Bond’s actions. It’s such a terrible idea I shall adopt it for tomorrow’s sideswipe.
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Remorseful Bond?
Or are the consequences accepted as an inevitable part of the Great Game?
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More about him being properly held to account by someone affected by his actions, albeit in some fantastical way… They were touching on it in Spectre and then that all went off in a useless direction.
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As Silva does in SF, but here it is M who is being held to account.
But does Penitent Bond work? If he triumphs at movie’s end, then he is not held to account. And if he is properly held to account, what happens in the next movie? Can he possibly go back to doing things the way he did before?
Penitent Bond buys EON a one-film breather–a caesura to figure things out. But the deferred question would arise again for the next entry in the series: what is Bond’s role in the world of 2034?
1 Like
Agreed it’s not a concept that works much beyond one film. I am not sure it is that good nor original an idea but this is a series replete with poor and unoriginal ideas on occasion, but those poor and unoriginal ideas have resulted in a product, whilst they rethink further. There might be a three film run - at the end of the first Bond is notionally successfully but has inadvertently created a greater threat by his defeating a lesser one; the greater theat comes through in the second film, a threat that Bond has accelerated into power inadvertently, and leaves carnage in its wake, for which Bond is held responsible by those around him and then in the third film there is some catharsis but Bond has to destroy himself / at least stop being “James Bond” to prevent the threat getting bigger. It would mean the “death” of James Bond again, but there is now an added tension to the series that Bond is a character who can die (this makes it interesting again). This could give opportunity to create a really grand villain, which is where my whining came in.
I accept this borrows hugely from things we have seen before, many centuries back, but it’s not as if Eon haven’t borrowed on occasion. On almost every occasion. That all Bond achieves is whacking a mole may be worth an explore, though. Again, something they were beginning to do with Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace and then… it went very badly off. I suppose they tried to claw it back a bit with Bond’s responsibility for his daughter in the last one, but possibly trying to wrench it all back too late.
They do have some challenges ahead, which is probably why it’s taking time to get the theory sorted; however, they do have a habit of abandoning the theories once more money and products to sell hove into view. The notional concept of GoldenEye - what is James Bond’s role post Cold War - was abandoned halfway through the film and the answer seemed to be “he is James Bond, that’s it”, which is pretty shallow but then it’s GoldenEye. The other three films of the Brosnan run just don’t touch it in any meaningful sense, so it may be grand to have a grand plan, but plans change once the dollars come flying in.
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But the more we discuss it, the more I like it. A variation on Rogue Bond, with that added soupcon of remorse. A one-trick pony, but I would pay to see the trick.
You make a plausible case. So the new Bond would have a run of three films, then pfft! I could see that being attractive to an actor (those in the profession feel free to correct me).
He has “died” in various ways before:
Connery Bond 2 in DAF
Moore Bond in MR and each subsequent film
Craig Bond in SP and NTTD
Dalton Bond and Brosnan Bond never got their death movies, and Lazenby Bond committed suicide offscreen.
4 Likes
“Only the penitent Bond may pass.”
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With the Second Round for the Henchpersonae now done, form table…
| Henchperson | Form % | (% shift) / form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jaws | 97.32 | (+0.67) / - |
| 2 | Xenia Onatopp | 90 | (+2.5) / +1 |
| 3 | Oddjob | 90 | (+2.5) / +1 |
| 4 | Fiona Volpe | 88 | (-0.33) / -2 |
| 5 | Wint & Kidd | 86.66 | (+0.01) / - |
| 6 | Necros | 69.32 | (+0.99) / - |
| 7 | May Day | 66.09 | (+5.15) / +1 |
| 8 | Tee-Hee | 60 | (+3.32) / +3 |
| 9 | Dario | 57.62 | (-6.73) / -2 |
| 10 | Helga Brandt | 49.34 | (-9.01) / -1 |
| 11 | Chang | 49.09 | (-5.6) / +1 |
| 12 | Irma Bunt | 46.41 | (-11.6) / -2 |
| 13 | Hinx | 42.64 | (-7.34) / - |
| 14 | Nick Nack | 39.98 | (-6.67) / - |
| 15 | Kronsteen | 36.94 | (-9.24) / - |
| 16 | Gobinda | 35 | (-) / +1 |
| 17 | Locque | 29.34 | (-7.34) / -1 |
| 18 | Professor Dent | 26.56 | |
| 19 | Patrice | 25.03 | |
| 20 | Primo | 25 | |
| 21 | Zao | 23.83 | |
| 22 | Stamper | 21.9 | |
| 23 | Renard | 20.31 | |
| 24 | Dimitrios | 18.24 | |
| 25 | Elvis | 6.7 |
Xenia remains Onatopp of Oddjob (a lovely image for a sunshine day) by dint of having more walkover wins.
As ever with the Second Round, quite a bit of shifting around and some benefit significantly and others drop into the miffed fish. Chang, although now largely made of piano wire, could still finish in the Top Ten if other results go his way. Thinnish margins in the leading pack of five (six; apologies to Mr Wint) could make for an interesting finish. Well, could. MY GOD, IT’S TENSE. Again.
There’s no henchperson from this century in the Top Ten. I am warming to my red-hot theme.
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Isn‘t Bond a henchperson, too? M is the Stromberg to his Jaws, so to speak (better not).
And where would the villains of the Bond world (and ours, actually) be if their henchpersons said: Um, no, do it yourself if you can - but we know you cannot.
Maybe there is something there for future Bond films? (Just killing time, sorry).
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I know I have banged on about this before, but this struck me as the major missed opportunity in Spectre: that Bond’s actions in the previous three films have inadvertently helped Oberhauser (he remains Oberhauser) sweep away the rest of his opposition to become head of the organisation. Bond is a henchman without actually knowing it. Hinx is a comparator and basically inept / jealous, Oberhauser has no further need for Bond so is trying to kill him a bit / letting Hinx loose on the train (an approach that parallels M’s attitude and the Nine Eyes thingy and has Bond call his own purpose into question, hence the existing ending on the bridge).
It’ll only be disappointing to watch Spectre again to find out none of this happens, so I will stick with my idealised version.
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Somehow, we all stick with those versions - maybe that’s why we love Bond films so much: we see the potential and forget the rest.
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Wasn’t there an idea about GOLDENEYE’s Trevelyan being a significantly older agent/00-agent played by Anthony Hopkins, or am I clinging to fanboy urban myths there?
Wouldn’t that have been a much better payoff/shock to introduce Oberhauser as significant ally, helping out Bond time and again, even saving his life over two/three films. And a real friend we’d know Bond could trust because his name pops up in the scripture too!
Beats cuckoo by a Kessel run.
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With the Quarter-Finals of the Henchlies now done - form table…
| Henchperson | Form % | (% shift) / form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jaws | 92.22 | (-5.1) / - |
| 2 | Oddjob | 89.45 | (-0.55) / +1 |
| 3 | Wint & Kidd | 88.88 | (+2.22) / +2 |
| 4 | Fiona Volpe | 87.78 | (-0.22) / - |
| 5 | Xenia Onatopp | 80.55 | (-9.45) / -3 |
| 6 | Necros | 59.98 | (-9.34) / - |
| 7 | Dario | 57.62 | (-) / +2 |
| 8 | May Day | 55.08 | (-11.01) / -1 |
| 9 | Tee-Hee | 52.22 | (-7.78) / -1 |
| 10 | Helga Brandt | 49.34 | |
| 11 | Chang | 49.09 | |
| 12 | Irma Bunt | 46.41 | |
| 13 | Hinx | 42.64 | |
| 14 | Nick Nack | 39.98 | |
| 15 | Kronsteen | 36.94 | |
| 16 | Gobinda | 35 | |
| 17 | Locque | 29.34 | |
| 18 | Professor Dent | 26.56 | |
| 19 | Patrice | 25.03 | |
| 20 | Primo | 25 | |
| 21 | Zao | 23.83 | |
| 22 | Stamper | 21.9 | |
| 23 | Renard | 20.31 | |
| 24 | Dimitrios | 18.24 | |
| 25 | Elvis | 6.7 |
Some absolute marmalisings handed out in the Quarter-Finals means some tightening at the top and Wint & Kidd benefit by the total slappage handed to May Day. Top of the form table is definitely still to play for, with those first four also being the Semi-Finalists in the knockout. It could get quite runny.
There’s a gulf between the first five and the rest, This year’s best also-ran is, what the hell, Necros, why not? Could be any other of them next year (not Elvis). Interesting I s’pose that both Dalton henchboys make the Top Ten quite comfortably.
Zao is the most popular element of Die Another Day so far this year. You need to look at yourselves, you really do. I mean, come on.
5 Likes
Form table for Henchpeople after some unprecedented Semi-Finals…
| Henchperson | Form % | (% shift) / form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jaws | 86.19 | (-6.03) / - |
| 2 | Oddjob | 83.81 | (-5.64) / - |
| 3 | Wint & Kidd | 83.33 | (-5.55) / - |
| 4 | Fiona Volpe | 82.38 | (-5.4) / - |
| 5 | Xenia Onatopp | 80.55 | |
| 6 | Necros | 59.98 | |
| 7 | Dario | 57.62 | |
| 8 | May Day | 55.08 | |
| 9 | Tee-Hee | 52.22 | |
| 10 | Helga Brandt | 49.34 | |
| 11 | Chang | 49.09 | |
| 12 | Irma Bunt | 46.41 | |
| 13 | Hinx | 42.64 | |
| 14 | Nick Nack | 39.98 | |
| 15 | Kronsteen | 36.94 | |
| 16 | Gobinda | 35 | |
| 17 | Locque | 29.34 | |
| 18 | Professor Dent | 26.56 | |
| 19 | Patrice | 25.03 | |
| 20 | Primo | 25 | |
| 21 | Zao | 23.83 | |
| 22 | Stamper | 21.9 | |
| 23 | Renard | 20.31 | |
| 24 | Dimitrios | 18.24 | |
| 25 | Elvis | 6.7 |
Both Semi-Finals emitting draws, the Finalists were decided on the basis of:
Position in initial group
Number of walkover wins in Group Stage, Second Round and Quarter-Finals
Net points accrued
Form up to and including Quarter-Finals
On this basis Jaws and Oddjob go through to the Final. Had their respective matches not accrued that one final vote, it would be a final between Fiona Volpe and Wint & Kidd. But, not to be, and that’s the way this beach ball has burst.
Everybody cope now. Still some form placing to play for, then.
6 Likes
'twas all my doing. I voted late yesterday, and when I saw the result, it was a draw for each at 18 votes. Laughed so hard, even took a screenshot 
6 Likes
Just goes to show, everyone’s vote does count towards a result.
There’s a message in there, somewhere.
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Henchpersons Deathmatch has ended, producing the following:
Winner: Jaws
Runner-Up: Oddjob
Third: Wint & Kidd
Fourth: Fiona Volpe
Usual stat rubbish later, along with launch of Group Stage for Titles. And special bonus moaning about the inadequacy of modern villainy, one’s self excluded.
5 Likes
With the Deathmatch for Henchbods complete, usual round-up…
Henchperson Deathmatch outcomes over the years it has run
| 2022 | 2023 | 2024 | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Winner | The Spy who Loved Me | The Spy who Loved Me | The Spy who Loved Me |
| Runner-Up | Goldfinger | Diamonds are Forever | Goldfinger |
| Third | Thunderball | Goldfinger | Diamonds are Forever |
| Fourth | OHMSS | Thunderball | Thunderball |
Bit of a closed shop? Or maybe the others are just a bit poor. Perhaps next year someone will dump Jaws into the water, but who will be brave enough to try? Or tell him.
Final Form Table - Henchpersons
| Henchperson | Form % | (% shift) / form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jaws | 82.92 | (-3.27) / - |
| 2 | Xenia Onatopp | 80.55 | (-) / +3 |
| 3 | Wint & Kidd | 79.58 | (-3.75) / - |
| 4 | Oddjob | 78.33 | (-5.48) / -2 |
| 5 | Fiona Volpe | 77.92 | (-4.46) / -1 |
| 6 | Necros | 59.98 | |
| 7 | Dario | 57.62 | |
| 8 | May Day | 55.08 | |
| 9 | Tee-Hee | 52.22 | |
| 10 | Helga Brandt | 49.34 | |
| 11 | Chang | 49.09 | |
| 12 | Irma Bunt | 46.41 | |
| 13 | Hinx | 42.64 | |
| 14 | Nick Nack | 39.98 | |
| 15 | Kronsteen | 36.94 | |
| 16 | Gobinda | 35 | |
| 17 | Locque | 29.34 | |
| 18 | Professor Dent | 26.56 | |
| 19 | Patrice | 25.03 | |
| 20 | Primo | 25 | |
| 21 | Zao | 23.83 | |
| 22 | Stamper | 21.9 | |
| 23 | Renard | 20.31 | |
| 24 | Dimitrios | 18.24 | |
| 25 | Elvis | 6.7 |
Jaws does the double, and Xenia squeezes through and makes some very alarming noises whilst so doing. The top five here are basically circling around each other each year…
A category where one could replace, given the abundance of villainy, and it doesn’t seem to have done Charrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr any disfavours, finishing just as well/badly as Jaws (for Moonraker) did in years past. However, some of these weaker players are irreplaceable (not a compliment) because other options are mute or fleeting. Replace Elvis with Beam? Probably won’t achieve anything more. Patrice with er um er who exactly? Primo with Comedy Racist Doctor Bloke? Maybe they just stay as they are.
Interested (ish) to know who, from 17 down, could really do any better for their respective film?
Henchbod form table over the years, and Seeds and Pots for 2025
| 2022 | 2023 | 2024 | Average | Seed/Pot | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dr No | 22 | 20 | 18 | 20 | Pot 2 |
| FRWL | 9 | 15 | 15 | 13 | Pot 1 |
| Goldfinger | 3 | 1 | 4 | 2.7 | 2nd Seed |
| Thunderball | 4 | 4 | 5 | 4.3 | 5th Seed |
| YOLT | 15 | 18 | 10 | 14.3 | Pot 1 |
| OHMSS | 8 | 8 | 12 | 9.3 | 8th Seed |
| DAF | 2 | 5 | 3 | 3.3 | 3rd Seed |
| LALD | 14 | 6 | 9 | 9.7 | 9th Seed |
| TMwtGG | 13 | 9 | 14 | 12 | Pot 1 |
| TSWLM | 1 | 2 | 1 | 1.3 | 1st Seed |
| Moonraker | 12 | 11 | 11 | 11.3 | Pot 1 |
| FYEO | 10 | 16 | 17 | 14.3 | Pot 2 |
| Octopussy | 23 | 12 | 16 | 17 | Pot 2 |
| AVTAK | 5 | 14 | 8 | 9 | 7th Seed |
| TLD | 11 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 6th Seed |
| LTK | 17 | 13 | 7 | 12.3 | Pot 1 |
| GoldenEye | 6 | 3 | 2 | 3.7 | 4th Seed |
| TND | 19 | 17 | 22 | 19.3 | Pot 2 |
| TWINE | 16 | 22 | 23 | 20.3 | Pot 3 |
| DAD | 21 | 24 | 21 | 22 | Pot 3 |
| CR | 20 | 23 | 24 | 22.3 | Pot 3 |
| QoS | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | Pot 3 |
| Skyfall | 18 | 21 | 19 | 19.3 | Pot 2 |
| Spectre | 7 | 10 | 13 | 10 | 10th Seed |
| NTTD | 24 | 19 | 20 | 21 | Pot 3 |
There was a Golden Age of henchboddery. We are not living in it, my poppets.
Deathmatch outcomes 2024 to date
| Villain | Song | Bond | Women | Hench | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Winner | Goldfinger | Live and Let Die | From Russia with Love | OHMSS | TSWLM |
| Runner-Up | OHMSS | Goldfinger | The Spy who Loved Me | Casino Royale | Goldfinger |
| Third | Skyfall | Diamonds are Forever | Goldfinger | Thunderball | Diamonds are Forever |
| Fourth | Casino Royale | OHMSS | Thunderball | The Spy who Loved Me | Thunderball |
Hmm. What does this tell us about modern Bond product? Two colourful villains, and a better written woman. That’s it. Might as well pack it in.
Top Ten of Everything so far 2024
| 5 visits to Top Ten | 4 visits to Top Ten | 3 visits to Top Ten | 2 visits to Top Ten | 1 Visit to Top Ten | Yet to bother the scorers |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Goldfinger | Moonraker | From Russia with Love | A View to a Kill | Dr No | Octopussy |
| Thunderball | Casino Royale | OHMSS | The Living Daylights | You Only Live Twice | Tomorrow Never Dies |
| The Spy who Loved Me | Diamonds are Forever | The Man with the Golden Gun | TWINE | ||
| Live and Let Die | For Your Eyes Only | Die Another Day | |||
| Licence to Kill | GoldenEye | Quantum of Solace | |||
| Skyfall | Spectre | ||||
| No Time to Die |
Moonraker and Casino Royale won’t make the Grand Slam and there’s a bit of a gap opening up. OHMSS possibly underperforming a bit so far. As for the current non-botherers - well, modern Bond is just rubbish, innit? Even the blessed Skyfall is slowing slipping back…
Seven rounds of this piffle to go, though. Seven more opportunities for Die Another Day to fail.
Most Valuable Player - has to finish as Semi-Finalist in a knockout to qualify
| Placings | Wins | Top Ten | Top Form | Points | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Goldfinger | 4 | 1 | 5 | 1 | 11 |
| TSWLM | 3 | 1 | 5 | 1 | 10 |
| OHMSS | 3 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 8 |
| Thunderball | 3 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 8 |
| FRWL | 1 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 6 |
| DAF | 2 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 6 |
| CR | 2 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 6 |
| LALD | 1 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 5 |
| Skyfall | 1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 4 |
Goldfinger and Thunderball regularly racking up the points there, but the big (7ft 2 inches) winner this time around is The Spy who Loved Me. New entries are struggling to break in…
The Road to Best Picture 2024
| Villain – form place | Song – form place | Bond – form place | Women – form place | Hench – form place | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dr No | 12 | 23 | 11 | 6 | 18 |
| From Russia with Love | 2 | 16 | 1 | 3 | 15 |
| Goldfinger | 1 | 5 | 3 | 9 | 4 |
| Thunderball | 8 | 10 | 7 | 5 | 5 |
| You Only Live Twice | 13 | 11 | 22 | 21 | 10 |
| OHMSS | 4 | 8 | 16 | 1 | 12 |
| Diamonds are Forever | 16 | 1 | 14 | 4 | 3 |
| Live and Let Die | 15 | 3 | 10 | 11 | 9 |
| The Man with the Golden Gun | 9 | 19 | 19 | 22 | 14 |
| The Spy who Loved Me | 7 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 1 |
| Moonraker | 5 | 4 | 8 | 8 | 11 |
| For Your Eyes Only | 20 | 14 | 5 | 17 | 17 |
| Octopussy | 19 | 22 | 15 | 15 | 16 |
| A View to a Kill | 11 | 9 | 23 | 24 | 8 |
| The Living Daylights | 25 | 15 | 9 | 18 | 6 |
| Licence to Kill | 10 | 20 | 13 | 10 | 7 |
| Goldeneye | 14 | 13 | 24 | 14 | 2 |
| Tomorrow Never Dies | 17 | 18 | 17 | 12 | 22 |
| TWINE | 18 | 12 | 21 | 25 | 23 |
| Die Another Day | 24 | 25 | 25 | 23 | 21 |
| Casino Royale | 6 | 6 | 2 | 2 | 24 |
| Quantum of Solace | 23 | 21 | 18 | 16 | 25 |
| Skyfall | 3 | 7 | 4 | 20 | 19 |
| Spectre | 21 | 24 | 20 | 19 | 13 |
| No Time to Die | 22 | 17 | 12 | 13 | 20 |
Once the next category is through (Main Titles) I’ll do a proper mid-term review of this. Up to Henchpeeps, Casino Royale seemed to be chugging along merrily but came to a dead end there, although will probably improve with its Main Titles.
NB Diamonds are Forever (7.6) currently has a better form average finish than OHMSS (8.2). No, we’re not stopping the game here.
Anything after 1977 is a bit frail at times, though. I know how that feels.
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