Villain Deathmatch - Round 1 results

Ten minutes and counnnnnting…
Closing time, James…
Three more clicks…

If you haven’t yet voted in Round 1 of Villain Deathmatch, you’ve 24 hours before Round 1 closes and the draw for Round 2 “happens”.

Some fights seem closer than others…

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The code word is imminent?
Then commence operations forthwith.


I would like to soak in my bathosub…

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12 winners and 4 lucky losers go into Round 2, with 8 Deathmatches to be played. In the event of a tie, Sudden Death will be both sudden… and death.

DM 8 – Klebb & Grant 25 (100%) v Gustav Graves 0 (0%) – points difference -25

DM 3 – Silva 24 (93%) v Koskov & Whitaker 2 (7%) – points difference -22

DM5 – Le Chiffre 2006 23 (88%) v Kristatos 3 (12%) – points difference -20

DM10 – Stromberg 21 (88%) v Greene 3 (12%) – points difference -18

DM4 – Scaramanga 18 (75%) v You Only Live Twice Blofeld 6 (25%) – points difference -12

DM9 – Largo 19 (73%) v Elektra King 7 (27%) – points difference -12

DM1 – Sanchez 18 (69%) v Diamonds are Forever Blofeld 8 (31%) – points difference -10

DM6 – OHMSS Blofeld 16 (62%) v Goldfinger 10 (38%) – points difference -6

D7 – Hugo Drax 14 (56%) v Dr Kananga 11 (44%) – points difference -3

DM12 – Trevelyan 14 (56%) v Khan & Orlov 11 (44%) – points difference -3

DM2 – Dr No 14 (54%) v Max Zorin 12 (46%) – points difference -2

DM11 – Spectre Blofeld 14 (54%) v Carver 12 (46%) – points difference -2

So, lucky losers Dr Kananga; Khan & Orlov; Max Zorin, and Elliot Carver live to die another day and join the 12 winners for Round 2.

Shoved into the shark tank of ignominy are:

Gustav Graves – failing to trouble the scorers at all; just embarrassing to watch, frankly. How do these weaker competitors even qualify? An electric mitten is no match for a team with clearly defined roles and strategy. Time to face apathy.

Koskov & Whitaker – up against Silva, a man with an equally convoluted plan, but with the advantage of a clear goal in mind no matter how he got there. These two- no matter how hard one tries, it’s still “uh?”. Koskov into the binbag, and Whitaker shall meet his Waterloo. As sung by The Recording Artiste Pierce Brosnan.

Kristatos – up against a sweaty, asthmatic sedentary maths nerd and he still can’t win. Hopeless. All the King’s medals and all the King’s men, couldn’t put Ari together again. Ah, the sharks have him; make port. Drink port, too. Or gluhwein, anyway. Who are you, again?

Greene – moistened fool comes up against someone knowing the real value of water. Was never in with a chance. Everything he touches seems to wither and die.

You Only Live Twice Blofeld – surprisingly poor showing from a competitor many felt in previous times exemplified “villain”. Still, wouldn’t be a tournament without an early round exit of a biggish beast. Appears to tolerate failure more than he would otherwise claim.

Elektra King – There’s no point in living… Let’s just leave it there.

Diamonds are Forever Blofeld – interesting fight against Sanchez. A flamboyant homosexual versus Diamonds are Forever Blofeld. As La Rochefoucauld observed: do bog off, there’s a chap.

Goldfinger -the shock exit of Round One, a bit like Germany always seem to contrive these days. A big man, but patently out of shape. Operation Grand Failure. A perpetual pre-tournament favourite, leaves the draw wide open for… whom?

Draw for Round 2 will happen shortly, 8 matches A – H

Quarter finals will be:

Sinner A v Sinner E

Sinner B v Sinner F

Sinner C v Sinner G

Sinner D v Sinner H



I think Graves lost because he’s really radio 007 in disguise…