Villain Deathmatch Round 2

(You should find all voting options in this thread)

Eight matches in Round 2 - labelled A to H inclusive - with the 12 winners (sinners?) from Round 1 and 4 lucky losers also getting through.

The draw for Round 2 has been made and voting options will appear here shortly.

In the event of a tie, the following will apply:

  • whether the miscreants won their Round 1 Deathmatch; if both did (or are both lucky losers); then
  • the amount of votes from Round 1 will be added to the votes in Round 2; if still equal, then
  • the % share in Round 1 will apply; if still equal, then
  • life’s a gamble, so is death - flip of a coin (best of three).

For those interested in strategic voting / manipulating the course of an election, the fallout of Round 2 will be Quarter Finals pre-set as follows:

Winner A v Winner E
Winner B v Winner F
Winner C v Winner G
Winner D v Winner H

Let the mayhem commence…

  • Emilio Largo
  • Kamal Khan & General Orlov

0 voters

Round 2 Deathmatch A

Lucky losers Khan and Orlov had a tight round - fnarr - against Alec Trevelyan, and perhaps could have done better had they not spent the first half mucking about inconsequentially. Their dramatic change of tactics halfway through definitely upped their stakes as a threat, although some would say there was still too much clowning about. Largo came through relatively easily against Elektra King, you can never discount the stylish Italians, and now it has to be determined - are four eyes better than one?

Winner of this Deathmatch will play winner of E in the Quarter Finals.

  • Dr Kananga
  • Elliot Carver

0 voters

Round 2 Deathmatch B

A struggle between 2 lucky losers here. Close games in Round 1 for both. Kananga narrowly missed out in a controversial tie against Eugenics Space Hitler, but it appeared ultimately to Hugo Drax that No Lives Matter; an equal opportunities bastard. Carver’s narrow defeat to Spectre Blofeld, the war of the slightly-underdeveloped information manipulators, he claims as Fake News, but a good enough showing to get through with dispensation. Now, Round 2 - which of these monopolisers of mind-bending addictive drugs will come out on top?

Winner of this Deathmatch will play winner of F in the Quarter Finals.

  • Klebb & Grant
  • Dr No

0 voters

Round 2 Deathmatch C

Classic villainy ahoy here, and SPECTRE infighting is unleashed. Klebb & Grant completely smeared the floor with Gustav Graves in Round 1, rendering him more pointless than he already was, whereas Dr No had more of a fight on his metal hands with Max Zorin, ultimately coming through with a narrow win. What will win the day here - brute force and low cunning, or godlike influence and the occasional tarantula? This cold war is about to get very hot indeed. Possibly boiling; but Dr No has been there and done that already.

Winner of this Deathmatch will play winner of G in the Quarter Finals.

1 Like
  • Silva
  • Francisco Scaramanga

0 voters

Round 2 Deathmatch D

Ah, the battle of the off-the-coast-of-China-island-dwellers. Ah, the battle of the girlfriend-killers. Ah, the battle of the love-hate-relationship-with-shorter-men- ers. Ah, the battle of the strange-fixation-with-Bond-ers. Ah, the battle of the Bond-has-troublingly-dark-attitude-to-villain’s-female-acquaintance-ers. Of both of them it could be asked - who will he bang? We shall see.

Winner of this Deathmatch will play winner of H in the Quarter Finals.

1 Like

Definition of “stop hitting yourself”

1 Like

With only one eye, Largo’s a sitting duck for double act Khan and Orlov. While khan distracts Largo with a civilised card game, Orlov sneaks up and feeds one-eye to his own shark.

Kananga has great lines, menacing presence and a convincing alter ego. Carver has gesticulations and infantile tantrums.

Dr No may get the better of Grant, confusing the big SMERSH man by calling him a policeman, while spiders and crabs crawl up Grant’s trouser legs. But he’s so determined to finish his monologue that old metal hands doesn’t see cleaning lady in disguise-Klebb’s poison toenail and she sticks him in the arch. If only he’d had metal feet too!

Dracula vs Anton Chigurh… This surely goes the full 10 rounds. Really tough!

For his introductory battle of wits, for it’s touchy feely threat to Bond’s machismo, and for that Dennis Hopper-Blue Velvet level scary ‘throat-rattle-hiss’ thing he does with a gun to M’s head, Silva wins Gold.

  • Alec Trevelyan
  • Hugo Drax

0 voters

Round 2 Deathmatch E

Scarred, ostensible British hero seeking to avenge his slightly unlikely true background against the UK by obliterating it in whole or in part with the use of an airborne weapon, vs. Hugo Drax. One administers nerve gas; the other’s been on the receiving end of it. One appears to be speaking English as a foreign language, and the other is Hugo Drax. One wants more money than God (God’s finances being a matter of speculation); the other just thinks he is.

Winner of this Deathmatch will play winner of A in the Quarter Finals.

  • Le Chiffre 2006
  • OHMSS Blofeld

0 voters

Round 2 Deathmatch F

Both would claim some indirect responsibility for the deaths of the major loves of Bond’s life, so this is perhaps the heavyweight tie of the round, with OHMSS Blofeld already having seen off Goldfinger in the first skirmish, now eye-to-weeping-eye with Le Chiffre who comes into Round 2 relatively fresh after a one-sided affair against Kristatos. Who gets released back into polite society? Will either yield, in time? Bond’s golden beasants at stake, here.

Winner of this Deathmatch will play winner of B in the Quarter Finals.

  • Max Zorin
  • Franz Sanchez

0 voters

Round 2 Deathmatch G

Lucky loser Zorin still has the opportunity for moo-arh, moo-arh powarrrh! having put up a decent fight against Dr No, but now finds himself up against the equally questionably Eighties-garbed machete-wielding loon Sanchez. Deathmatch regulators note that both have had allegations of performance-enhancing drugs levelled at them in times past. Sanchez would claim he already succeeded in flooding Silicon Valley anyway. Dance into the fire, or dance because you’re on fire? Don’t you want to know why?

Winner of this Deathmatch will play winner of C in the Quarter Finals.


With Drax’s flare for droll delivery and Trevelyan’s craving for glib remarks and pithy comebacks the pints are on Alec throughout their lockdown lock-in.

But inevitably Drax will have a pithy word with Jaws, behind the bar, telling him to see that some harm comes to the ex-00.

Pub fight carnage ensues, but we all know that ultimately 00 > Jaws. Alec wedges a beer mat between metal mouth’s gnashes and boots him through the Wetherspoons window into the cold and deadly void of Croydon after midnight… With no chance of Jaws fitting into an Uber they’re easy prey.

  • Spectre Blofeld
  • Karl Stromberg

0 voters

Round 2 Deathmatch H

Ah, the man who knows, when it comes to “brothers”, which button to press, vs. the man who presses loads of buttons indiscriminately regardless of who you may be. The man from Atlantis may have sailed like a supertanker through Round 1 although there were suspicions of his being the Anyone But Greene candidate. Might have his webbed hands full with this Blofeld who came through quite surprisingly a clear winner in his first round tie. How much pain can he author this time?

Winner of this Deathmatch will play winner of D in the Quarter Finals.

1 Like

Telly sticks his cigarette holder in Chiffe’s bloody eye.


Oh please, those 2 had a catered meal and discussed the bouquet of the wine.


No, no, no! No more foreplay :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

1 Like

Carver gets tomorrow’s news today, but Kananga has his own fortune teller. Both become paralysed by fatalism and it ends in a draw. Just as they both knew it would.


For me it doesn’t come down to who would triumph in a physical confrontation (except in the case of Sanchez vs Zorin - Max would still be bleating about his superior intellect while Franz is stuffing him into a decompression chamber or a pulverizer at the works). For me it’s a matter of who I enjoy watching more, in which case I’m more inclined to root for the earlier, seminal (fnarr) characters. Modern villains just don’t have as much class, but then neither does Jason -sorry, Jack - sorry, James anymore (whatever happened to ‘strikethrough’?).


Perfectly sound reason - there’s no particular rule here.

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Still voting as an unapologetic Octopussy/Tomorrow Never Dies groupie here. I’ll be damned if I let the voodoo magic of Baron Samedi rig this election! I’m creating a bunch of fake accounts to stuff the ballot box and ensure Carver and Khan/Orlov earn so many votes they that will be the next Presidents of the United States! And if that doesn’t work, I’ll just cry fake news and play golf until I turn into a literal orange. 17 BRITISH SAILORS COVFEFE

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Seems like Dr No is having a hard time in this death match. I suppose he used up all his luck surviving getting his hands hacked off and being shot in the chest by his former Tong employers.

Silva meanwhile apparently has little trouble beating his own previous incarnation Scaramanga. But who knows, maybe the man with the golden penlightercufflink has an escape-coffin stashed away somewhere on the island or the yacht…?

SPECTRE-Blofeld…oh my. What was it he was doing for a living again? I distinctly remember it was something dastardly. Selling VWs? No… Selling Kitkats to schoolchildren? No… Something with cameras and a cat…selling cat videos to TIKTOK. Yes, that was it! Bad boy…

1 Like