Has there been another email leak?
We pick up where we left off, with Bond (Daniel Craig) and Madeleine (a CGI simulation of Lea Seydoux, who’s “moved on, thank you”) driving to a hotel outside London. They turn on the TV in their room only to find every channel showing a marathon of “Fuller House,” quickly rendering them unconscious. When he wakes, Bond finds himself in a mysterious location referred to only as “The Village,” where everyone calls him “Number 7” and takes orders from a man known only as “Ten” (David Tenant).
In another triumph for fans who champion Craig as the “most Fleming” of all movie Bonds, our hero strips to his speedos, lifts Ten over his head and hurls him through multiple layers of sheetrock.
Bond is then chased down the shoreline by an ominous, sentient beach ball (Val Kilmer) but at the last moment, the Aston Martin DB5 appears and bursts the beachball, swooping up Bond and driving him to safety by traveling, Messiah-like, over the surface of the water. Having achieved sentience, the DB5 joins with Craig-Bond (who’s nearly achieved it himself) to win a series of cross-country road races and engage in hilarious hi-jinks.
Credits roll. The Aston Martin Will Return.
Open to a shabby harbour bar somewhere fashionably tropical, well-frequented but only by the ‘right’ kind of folks (no all-inclusive tourists). A bearded Papa Bond in a Rolls-Royce polo shirt and a Stupid-for-all-Reasons jeans, a trendy straw porkpie on his grey hair, tells the crowd around the bar of ‘that time when I was a great secret agent and caught the biggest crinimal terrorist of all time, Moby Blofeld, and saved the country and the bucket of control he was about to steal from us!’
The crowd is pleasantly entertained by the tale, though it’s obvious some hear it not for the first - or tenth - time. When Papa Bond arrives at the part where he throws away his harpoon the audience roars with laughter, buying him a tray full of ‘Jorkens Special’ blended spirits. While Papa Bond has a few of his hard-earned glasses the bartender asks him if he’s heard about the recent attack on Her Majesty’s famous steeple race corgie Theresa. Bond immediately sobers up and makes for the next flight to London to take up revenge duty.
Sadly, he’s turned away at immigration because his passport has the wrong colour…
Perhaps, I’m overthinking?
It is very likely that Bond was just granted extended leave, nothing more permanent than that. Once back, if nothing is addressed and we don’t end up seeing the latest woman in Bond’s life in the next film, I suppose it would be business like usual.
It isn’t a stretch. They nearly split in SPECTRE!
Totally possible. Nobody saw Madeleine move in with Bond. Nobody needs to see her go.
Love interests are easy to sweep under the carpet. The bigger problem with continuing Craig’s Bond is that they’ll likely want to do more with Waltz’ Blofeld, and that’s the last thing I ever want to see.
Here’s the first scene of Bond 25 as I would write it:
M: "Moneypenny, I have an assignment for Bond. Think he’s up for it?"
Moneypenny: "I think so, sir. He had a rough patch there after Madeleine was killed in that car crash, but he seems nearly back to his old self."
M: "Yes, that was too bad. Shame about the Aston Martin, too. Beyond salvage, I understand."
Monepenny: "Yes sir. On the up side, at least Blofeld was stabbed to death in a prison riot. That seemed to have cheered him up considerably."
M: “Right, call him in, then.”
The impression I got from Waltz’s interview some months ago was that he’s not particularly hot to return to the role. He seemed to be aware of the part’s problems from an early stage but claimed by then - and under the production’s conditions - it was already too late. He thought his performance didn’t nail it and didn’t go into detail whether there was an option to return.
On balance I think he won’t return. Or only if the script gives his character much better parts.