Just as I and Gala look forward to our box of scorpions when on holiday…she is a lovely sight in one of her (many) satin nighties chasing about the little buggers.
Love as always Jim. 
6 Likes
[He hasn’t spotted the tapeworm I unleashed into in his own satin nightie. Heliotrope is most definitely his colour, though]
4 Likes
Oh, Poppet, that’s a very unusual shape for one of those. Does it chafe? Now put it away.
Right, Group Stage for Henchpersons done for another year - time seeps through my mitts like water - this is how it all played out:
| Group A | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jaws | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 69 | 3 | 66 | 95.8 | 12 |
| Hinx | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 42 | 30 | 12 | 58.35 | 7 |
| Kronsteen | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 36 | 36 | 0 | 50 | 7 |
| Primo | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 20 | 52 | -32 | 27.78 | 3 |
| Patrice | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 13 | 59 | -46 | 18.08 | 0 |
Blimey. As indeed he is (for about twenty minutes) in The Spy who Loved Me, Jaws is terrifying. Big gap between him and second place, the mysteriously popular Hinx. And yes, I know, I know, Kronsteen isn’t everyone’s first choice as henchybod for From Russia with Love, but for another year, he’s getting into the second round. The final two - well, meh. The Shopping Channel or whoever it is that now owns all this rubbish really do need to get Henching right again.
| Group B | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Oddjob | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 65 | 3 | 62 | 95.6 | 12 |
| Tee Hee | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 46 | 22 | 24 | 67.63 | 9 |
| Dario | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 31 | 37 | -6 | 45.6 | 6 |
| Stamper | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 19 | 49 | -30 | 27.95 | 3 |
| Zao | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 9 | 52 | -43 | 13.23 | 0 |
Is the Group with Die Another Day in it, and the Group with Goldfinger in it. Plays out much as expected. Dick Stamper will be sore but then that’s dick stamping for you. Dario gets into the Second Round, and so he should because he’s got such a lovely smile. Looks a bit rough these days, though. Shredded takes on several meanings.
| Group C | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Wint & Kidd | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 57 | 7 | 50 | 89.06 | 12 |
| Irma Bunt | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 42 | 22 | 20 | 65.63 | 9 |
| Locque | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 30 | 34 | -4 | 46.88 | 6 |
| Helga | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 26 | 38 | -12 | 40.63 | 3 |
| Elvis | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 5 | 59 | -54 | 7.82 | 0 |
OK, so Elvis is Elvis is Elvis, but although it’s gobshatteringly pathetic a performance again, it’s less gobshatteringly pathetic than last year so he doesn’t actually damage Quantum of Solace’s overall position for Bonus Points. Not a loser - official. Call him a loser and he will throw his wig at you or whatever his thing is. Helga gets really dumped into the killer fish, and pulls You Only Live Twice down with her. Wint & Kidd sidle through very comfortably, as ever.
| Group D | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Xenia | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 56 | 8 | 48 | 87.5 | 12 |
| May Day | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 42 | 22 | 20 | 65.63 | 9 |
| Nick Nack | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 34 | 30 | 4 | 53.13 | 6 |
| Prof. Dent | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 17 | 47 | -30 | 26.56 | 3 |
| Dimitrios | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 11 | 53 | -42 | 17.19 | 0 |
Maybe next year it will have to be Kratt for Casino Royale. Or that bloke Bond fights at Miami Airport; at least he does something. Mr White? Banker bloke? Curly haired wig fool in the pre-credits? Nick Nack underperforms as usual and the prize is a Second Round match against Jaws; one wonders what that might look like. Gurrrrrl Power sees a straightforward top two here.
| Group E | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Fiona | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 54 | 10 | 44 | 84.38 | 12 |
| Necros | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 38 | 26 | 12 | 59.38 | 9 |
| Gobinda | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 30 | 34 | -4 | 46.88 | 6 |
| Chang | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 30 | 34 | -4 | 46.88 | 3 |
| Renard | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 8 | 56 | -48 | 12.5 | 0 |
Mixed group, really, and Necros always seems to do OK in this but falls from a great height in the next round; let’s see. Renard isn’t worth contemplating other than as a monument to colossal uselessness. Chang for Moonraker rather than Jaws - well, OK, but it’s not that convincing, is it?
Form Table after Group Stage - Henchpersons
| Hench | Form % | Seed | Group Outcome | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jaws | 95.8 | 1 | Winner A |
| 2 | Oddjob | 95.6 | 2 | Winner B |
| 3 | Wint & Kidd | 89.06 | 3 | Winner C |
| 4 | Xenia | 87.5 | 4 | Winner D |
| 5 | Fiona | 84.38 | 5 | Winner E |
| 6 | Tee Hee | 67.63 | 9 | Runner-Up B |
| 7 | Irma Bunt | 65.63 | 8 | Runner-Up C |
| 8 | May Day | 65.63 | 7 | Runner-Up D |
| 9 | Necros | 59.38 | 6 | Runner-Up E |
| 10 | Hinx | 58.35 | 10 | Runner-Up A |
| 11 | Nick Nack | 53.13 | Lucky Loser 1 | |
| 12 | Kronsteen | 50 | Lucky Loser 2 | |
| 13 | Locque | 46.88 | Lucky Loser 3 | |
| 14 | Gobinda | 46.88 | Lucky Loser 4 | |
| 15 | Chang | 46.88 | Lucky Loser 5 | |
| 16 | Dario | 45.6 | Lucky Loser 6 | |
| 17 | Helga | 40.63 | ||
| 18 | Stamper | 27.95 | ||
| 19 | Primo | 27.78 | ||
| 20 | Prof. Dent | 25.56 | ||
| 21 | Patrice | 18.08 | ||
| 22 | Dimitrios | 17.19 | ||
| 23 | Zao | 13.23 | ||
| 24 | Renard | 12.5 | ||
| 25 | Elvis | 7.82 |
Pretty much right on previous form and maybe this is a predictable category, but still a way to go yet. Elvis is closer to penultimate place than before… but still very rubbish. The top 16 do all appear to do something, I guess, which makes them stand out. Viva Kronsteen.
Bonus Points to date
| Film | Bonus Points |
|---|---|
| Goldfinger | 22 |
| OHMSS | 16 |
| Octopussy | 15 |
| Spectre | 12 |
| The Living Daylights | 11 |
| GoldenEye | 9 |
| Thunderball | 8 |
| A View to a Kill | 7 |
| Quantum of Solace | 5 |
| Dr No | 5 |
| The Spy who Loved Me | 4 |
| For Your Eyes Only | 3 |
| No Time to Die | 2 |
| Tomorrow Never Dies | 0 |
| The World is Not Enough | -1 |
| You Only Live Twice | -1 |
| Die Another Day | -2 |
| The Man with the Golden Gun | -7 |
| Live and Let Die | -8 |
| From Russia with Love | -11 |
| Moonraker | -11 |
| Diamonds are Forever | -14 |
| Licence to Kill | -14 |
| Skyfall | -14 |
| Casino Royale | -16 |
This was meant to give some of the more unheralded films a shot at the stars, but that it’s Goldfinger in a comfortable lead, doing better than last year, is faintly ludicrous. Casino Royale must have overperformed last year. Still some way to go, but everyone other than Goldfinger - do come on. Time to pull your finger out, and that means you too, Poppet. Urr.
7 Likes
Perhaps we ought to consider Greene as his own henchman and Elvis simply as a hanger-on vying for the significant other position? Might be the overall fairer assessment and explain Elvis’ hostility towards Camille.
4 Likes
Forgot to put this up. I am getting old and forgetful. Who are you? Why are you? Get out of my clothes.
Form Table after Second Round - Henchpersons
| Hench | Form % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jaws | 95.39 | (-0.41) | - |
| 2 | Oddjob | 95.23 | (-0.37) | - |
| 3 | Wint & Kidd | 89.99 | (+0.93) | - |
| 4 | Xenia | 87.5 | (-) | - |
| 5 | Fiona | 85 | (+0.62) | - |
| 6 | Tee Hee | 69.1 | (+1.47) | - |
| 7 | Irma Bunt | 66.25 | (+0.62) | - |
| 8 | May Day | 57.5 | (-8.13) | - |
| 9 | Hinx | 56.68 | (-1.67) | +1 |
| 10 | Necros | 53.75 | (-5.63) | -1 |
| 11 | Dario | 46.48 | (+0.88) | +5 |
| 12 | Nick Nack | 43.75 | (-9.38) | -1 |
| 13 | Kronsteen | 41.25 | (-8.75) | -1 |
| 14 | Helga | 40.63 | (-) | +3 |
| 15 | Locque | 40 | (-6.88) | -2 |
| 16 | Chang | 40 | (-6.88) | -1 |
| 17 | Gobinda | 38.75 | (-8.13) | -3 |
| 18 | Stamper | 27.95 | ||
| 19 | Primo | 27.78 | ||
| 20 | Prof. Dent | 25.56 | ||
| 21 | Patrice | 18.08 | ||
| 22 | Dimitrios | 17.19 | ||
| 23 | Zao | 13.23 | ||
| 24 | Renard | 12.5 | ||
| 25 | Elvis | 7.82 |
There’s a definite top 5 here, by the looks of things, and they all sailed through the Second Round. Their victims, though - some big drops and rises and shaking around like a defecating dog.
With that image, one must part to spread joy o’er the shrievalty. I shall remain contemplative of the baffling popularity of Hinx, who is just gristle and little else.
3 Likes
Before I forget my brain again, eat this, Babycakes:
Form table following Quarter-Finals for Henchlybods
| Hench | Form % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oddjob | 94.06 | (-1.17) | +1 |
| 2 | Wint & Kidd | 88.73 | (-1.26) | +1 |
| 3 | Jaws | 88.31 | (-7.08) | -2 |
| 4 | Xenia | 83.7 | (-3.8) | - |
| 5 | Fiona | 78.68 | (-6.32) | - |
| 6 | Irma Bunt | 61.09 | (-5.16) | +1 |
| 7 | Tee Hee | 60.52 | (-8.58) | -1 |
| 8 | May Day | 57.5 | ||
| 9 | Necros | 53.75 | (-) | +1 |
| 10 | Hinx | 49.2 | (-7.48) | -1 |
| 11 | Dario | 46.48 | ||
| 12 | Nick Nack | 43.75 | ||
| 13 | Kronsteen | 41.25 | ||
| 14 | Helga | 40.63 | ||
| 15 | Locque | 40 | ||
| 16 | Chang | 40 | ||
| 17 | Gobinda | 38.75 | ||
| 18 | Stamper | 27.95 | ||
| 19 | Primo | 27.78 | ||
| 20 | Prof. Dent | 25.56 | ||
| 21 | Patrice | 18.08 | ||
| 22 | Dimitrios | 17.19 | ||
| 23 | Zao | 13.23 | ||
| 24 | Renard | 12.5 | ||
| 25 | Elvis | 7.82 |
Oh dear.
Still, semi-finals emerge with Jaws wrapping his gnashers around Wint & Kidd, who are in the ascendancy, and Xenia wrapping her thighs around Oddjob.
You know you’d pay ready money for that cucumber.
6 Likes
With the last throws of the Death-Off and Final still to be punched out, where Form stands itself after the Semi-Finals for Henchpersons:
| Hench | Form % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oddjob | 89.64 | (-4.41) | - |
| 2 | Jaws | 83.97 | (-4.34) | +1 |
| 3 | Wint & Kidd | 82.07 | (-6.66) | -1 |
| 4 | Fiona | 78.68 | (-) | +1 |
| 5 | Xenia | 77 | (-6.7) | -1 |
| 6 | Irma Bunt | 61.09 | ||
| 7 | Tee Hee | 60.52 | ||
| 8 | May Day | 57.5 | ||
| 9 | Necros | 53.75 | ||
| 10 | Hinx | 49.2 | ||
| 11 | Dario | 46.48 | ||
| 12 | Nick Nack | 43.75 | ||
| 13 | Kronsteen | 41.25 | ||
| 14 | Helga | 40.63 | ||
| 15 | Locque | 40 | ||
| 16 | Chang | 40 | ||
| 17 | Gobinda | 38.75 | ||
| 18 | Stamper | 27.95 | ||
| 19 | Primo | 27.78 | ||
| 20 | Prof. Dent | 25.56 | ||
| 21 | Patrice | 18.08 | ||
| 22 | Dimitrios | 17.19 | ||
| 23 | Zao | 13.23 | ||
| 24 | Renard | 12.5 | ||
| 25 | Elvis | 7.82 |
Given the indignity on display, it’s an irony that there is still some dignity to play for and those top five places could still do a shift about. Could, not will.
Next category - Titles - begins tomorrow, along with a mop up of whatever is left of the Henches.
5 Likes
Yes, I know I’m late, but so’s your Mum. Time to dust off that cot, I think.
Anyway, rounding up Henchpersons:
Winner: Jaws
Runner-Up: Oddjob
Third: Wint & Kidd
Fourth: Xenia Onatopp
A Brosnan makes it through; this is largely unheard of and possibly upsetting to many. It does rather jigger things about, a bit like your Mum in that tasselled outfit she shoplifted.
Henchperson outcomes over the years
| 2022 | 2023 | 2024 | 2025 | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Winner | TSWLM | TSWLM | TSWLM | TSWLM |
| Runner-Up | Goldfinger | Diamonds are Forever | Goldfinger | Goldfinger |
| 3rd | Thunderball | Goldfinger | Diamonds are Forever | Diamonds are Forever |
| 4th | OHMSS | Thunderball | Thunderball | GoldenEye |
Told you; it was arguably becoming a bit routine, this.
That said, the Brosnan element is 30 years old so another note for the Amazon persons - modern Hench has been rubbish; just sort it out, yeah?
Deathmatch outcomes per film to Date: 2026
| Villain | Song | Bond | Women | Hench | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Winner | Goldfinger | Live and Let Die | Goldfinger | OHMSS | The Spy who Loved Me |
| Runner-Up | Skyfall | Diamonds are Forever | Thunderball | Casino Royale | Goldfinger |
| 3rd | Moonraker | The Spy who Loved Me | From Russia with Love | Thunderball | Diamonds are Forever |
| 4th | From Russia with Love | You Only Live Twice | Casino Royale | Goldfinger | GoldenEye |
The Spy who Loved Me had possibly been underperforming to date; no more, so Moonraker possibly taking that dishonour at the moment?
Final Form Table for Henchpersons
| Hench | Form % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oddjob | 83.99 | (-5.66) | - |
| 2 | Jaws | 80.43 | (-3.54) | - |
| 3 | Wint & Kidd | 78.76 | (-3.31) | - |
| 4 | Fiona | 78.68 | ||
| 5 | Xenia | 72.93 | (-4.07) | - |
| 6 | Irma Bunt | 61.09 | ||
| 7 | Tee Hee | 60.52 | ||
| 8 | May Day | 57.5 | ||
| 9 | Necros | 53.75 | ||
| 10 | Hinx | 49.2 | ||
| 11 | Dario | 46.48 | ||
| 12 | Nick Nack | 43.75 | ||
| 13 | Kronsteen | 41.25 | ||
| 14 | Helga | 40.63 | ||
| 15 | Locque | 40 | ||
| 16 | Chang | 40 | ||
| 17 | Gobinda | 38.75 | ||
| 18 | Stamper | 27.95 | ||
| 19 | Primo | 27.78 | ||
| 20 | Prof. Dent | 25.56 | ||
| 21 | Patrice | 18.08 | ||
| 22 | Dimitrios | 17.19 | ||
| 23 | Zao | 13.23 | ||
| 24 | Renard | 12.5 | ||
| 25 | Elvis | 7.82 |
The Goldfinger thing is becoming slightly absurd, really. There is a distinct top 5 here, and a definite last place.
Henchpersons - Form over the years and Pots and Seeds for 2026
| 2022 | 2023 | 2024 | 2025 | Avge | Pot/Seed | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dr No | 22 | 20 | 18 | 20 | 20 | Pot 2 |
| FRWL | 9 | 15 | 15 | 13 | 13 | Pot 1 |
| Goldfinger | 3 | 1 | 4 | 1 | 2.25 | Seed 2 |
| Thunderball | 4 | 4 | 5 | 4 | 4.25 | Seed 5 |
| YOLT | 15 | 18 | 10 | 14 | 14.25 | Pot 1 |
| OHMSS | 8 | 8 | 12 | 6 | 8.5 | Seed 7 |
| DAF | 2 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3.25 | Seed 3 |
| LALD | 14 | 6 | 9 | 7 | 9 | Seed 9 |
| TMwtGG | 13 | 9 | 14 | 12 | 12 | Pot 1 |
| TSWLM | 1 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 1.5 | Seed 1 |
| Moonraker | 12 | 11 | 11 | 16 | 12.5 | Pot 1 |
| FYEO | 10 | 16 | 17 | 15 | 14.5 | Pot 2 |
| Octopussy | 23 | 12 | 16 | 17 | 17 | Pot 2 |
| AVTAK | 5 | 14 | 8 | 8 | 8.75 | Seed 8 |
| TLD | 11 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 8.25 | Seed 6 |
| LTK | 17 | 13 | 7 | 11 | 12 | Pot 1 |
| GoldenEye | 6 | 3 | 2 | 5 | 4 | Seed 4 |
| TND | 19 | 17 | 22 | 18 | 19 | Pot 2 |
| TWINE | 16 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 21.25 | Pot 3 |
| DAD | 21 | 24 | 21 | 23 | 22.25 | Pot 3 |
| CRoyale | 20 | 23 | 24 | 22 | 22.25 | Pot 3 |
| QoS | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | Pot 3 |
| Skyfall | 18 | 21 | 19 | 21 | 19.75 | Pot 2 |
| Spectre | 7 | 10 | 13 | 10 | 10 | Seed 10 |
| NTTD | 24 | 19 | 20 | 19 | 20.5 | Pot 3 |
That said, Elvis’ performance was no better nor worse this year than last, so his abject uselessness doesn’t ectually affect the Bonus Points position. Why is Hinx so popular? Even with him included, modern Hench really is rubbish. Do come on. As I said to your Mum.
Most Valuable Player - have to get a placing (4th or better) in Knockout to qualify
| Placings | Wins | Top Tens | Top Form | Points | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Goldfinger | 4 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 14 |
| TSWLM | 2 | 1 | 5 | 0 | 8 |
| Thunderball | 2 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 7 |
| Casino Royale | 2 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 6 |
| OHMSS | 1 | 1 | 4 | 0 | 6 |
| FRWL | 2 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 5 |
| Diamonds are Forever | 2 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 5 |
| LALD | 1 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 5 |
| Moonraker | 1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 4 |
| Skyfall | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 3 |
| YOLT | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
| GoldenEye | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
What’s that creeping into the table? Do my thighs deceive me? A Brosnan? Standards really are slipping. As your Mum said to me (the bitch).
Thunderball still doing its thing without ever being tippermost toppermost of anything. Ecce Thunderball.
Top Ten of Everything to Date
| 5 visits to Top Ten | 4 visits to Top Ten | 3 visits to Top Ten | 2 visits to Top Ten | 1 visit to Top Ten | Yet to bother the scorers |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Goldfinger | OHMSS | From Russia with Love | Dr No | You Only Live Twice | TMwtGG |
| Thunderball | Diamonds are Forever | Live and Let Die | For Your Eyes Only | Octopussy | |
| The Spy who Loved Me | Moonraker | The Living Daylights | GoldenEye | Tomorrow Never Dies | |
| A View to a Kill | Licence to Kill | TWINE | Die Another Day | ||
| Casino Royale | Skyfall | Spectre | Quantum of Solace | ||
| No Time to Die |
Current round is Title Sequences which could mash this up a bit, so something to watch out for.
Bonus Points to Date
| Film | Bonus Points |
|---|---|
| Goldfinger | 23 |
| OHMSS | 17 |
| Octopussy | 14 |
| Spectre | 13 |
| The Living Daylights | 10 |
| Thunderball | 9 |
| GoldenEye | 8 |
| A View to a Kill | 7 |
| Quantum of Solace | 5 |
| Dr No | 4 |
| For Your Eyes Only | 4 |
| The Spy who Loved Me | 3 |
| No Time to Die | 3 |
| Tomorrow Never Dies | 1 |
| You Only Live Twice | -2 |
| TWINE | -2 |
| Die Another Day | -3 |
| The Man with the Golden Gun | -6 |
| Live and Let Die | -7 |
| From Russia with Love | -10 |
| Moonraker | -12 |
| Diamonds are Forever | -14 |
| Licence to Kill | -15 |
| Casino Royale | -15 |
| Skyfall | -15 |
Goldfinger, rather amazingly, is doing better than it did last year, when it did “well”. Some things are still holding their own, and we’re less than halfway through the Deathmatch year, so it could all change. Well, maybe.
6 Likes
Yes, yes, very interesting and I’m sure it gives you great pleasure but I don’t think you should waggle it about like that. Especially at a funeral.
Funerals is what it is, at Deathmatch, and we have reached the end of the Group Stage for Title Sequences.
| Group A | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Casino Royale | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 61 | 13 | 48 | 82.68 | 12 |
| Live and Let Die | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 50 | 23 | 27 | 69.05 | 9 |
| Diamonds are Forever | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 40 | 33 | 7 | 55.2 | 6 |
| A View to a Kill | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 19 | 53 | -34 | 26.4 | 3 |
| Dr No | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 12 | 60 | -48 | 16.68 | 0 |
Perhaps the winner of this group was a foregone conclusion and it’s a strong performance but - and here’s the thingy-pop - not as strong as last year, so Casino Royale’s complex relationship with the Bonus Points game will continue. Personally I have a great fondness for the A View to a Kill titles, utterly exhausted and neon-lewd as they are, and given that pretentious folk often point to the Dr No titles as iconic, seems a bit of a surprise how underloved they are here.
| Group B | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| You Only Live Twice | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 54 | 22 | 32 | 71.01 | 12 |
| Goldfinger | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 51 | 24 | 27 | 68.28 | 9 |
| No Time to Die | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 44 | 32 | 12 | 57.88 | 6 |
| Spectre | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 29 | 47 | -18 | 38.15 | 3 |
| Quantum of Solace | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 11 | 64 | -53 | 14.63 | 0 |
Goldfinger in not-winning-a-group shocker. You Only Live Twice a plausible winner, although that’s not a particularly strong share of the vote at this stage. I think the Quantum of Solace titles are clever but then I think I’m clever, so what do I know? (Loads of stuff; I’m clever). They actually performed more strongly this year than last so gain a Bonus Point, rather amazingly.
| Group C | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| OHMSS | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 63 | 13 | 50 | 82.9 | 12 |
| Moonraker | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 51 | 25 | 26 | 67.1 | 9 |
| Die Another Day | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 30 | 44 | -14 | 41.15 | 4 |
| For Your Eyes Only | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 29 | 45 | -16 | 39.73 | 4 |
| The Man with the Golden Gun | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 16 | 60 | -44 | 19.13 | 0 |
Die Another Day finishes third in a group. Die Another Day gets into the Second Round. I think my World has just imploded and all that I held dear and clung onto has come into question. I don’t have much of a moral core, it’s more of a moral pip, but even that feels disturbed. I had to check this result several times. I don’t understand the planet no more, me. The remainder were obvious, probably, although very very nudey wet lady in the titles of The Man with the Golden Gun deserves more… attention. That’s the word. Attention. Given how the rest of his 1980s efforts pan out here, perhaps For Your Eyes Only’s titles were the last flush of creativity for Mr Binder. After that, things seem to decay.
| Group D | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Spy who Loved Me | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 62 | 18 | 44 | 77.5 | 12 |
| Thunderball | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 52 | 28 | 24 | 65 | 9 |
| Tomorrow Never Dies | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 46 | 34 | 12 | 41.25 | 6 |
| The Living Daylights | 4 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 24 | 56 | -32 | 30 | 1 |
| Octopussy | 4 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 16 | 64 | -48 | 20 | 1 |
Told you. Spurty jizzfroth spectacular Thunderball, jingoistic twaddle The Spy who Loved Me and colossal mess Tomorrow Never Dies all evidently more memorable than the other two, which exist on an amoebic level of creative value.
| Group E | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Skyfall | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 68 | 11 | 57 | 86.18 | 12 |
| GoldenEye | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 59 | 21 | 38 | 73.75 | 9 |
| TWINE | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 31 | 49 | -18 | 38.75 | 6 |
| From Russia with Love | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 33 | 47 | -14 | 41.25 | 3 |
| Licence to Kill | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 8 | 71 | -63 | 10.08 | 0 |
Strong showing from Skyfall there, pipping higher seed GoldenEye to top spot. Weird outcome between TWINE and From Russia with Love sees From Russia with Love go through to the Second Round on form, even though TWINE won more games. Still, belly dancers over oil globs any day. Licence to Kill has the fatal flaw of being dull, but then that’s Licence to Kill all over for yers.
Form table - Group Stage - Title Sequences
| Title Sequence | Form % | Seed | Group Outcome | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Skyfall | 86.18 | 6 | Winner A |
| 2 | OHMSS | 82.9 | 3 | Winner C |
| 3 | Casino Royale | 82.68 | 1 | Winner A |
| 4 | TSWLM | 77.5 | 4 | Winner D |
| 5 | GoldenEye | 73.75 | 5 | Runner-Up E |
| 6 | YOLT | 71.01 | 2 | Winner B |
| 7 | Live and Let Die | 69.05 | 10 | Runner-Up A |
| 8 | Goldfinger | 68.28 | 9 | Runner-Up B |
| 9 | Moonraker | 67.1 | 8 | Runner-Up C |
| 10 | Thunderball | 65 | 7 | Runner-Up D |
| 11 | No Time to Die | 57.88 | Lucky Loser 1 | |
| 12 | DAF | 55.2 | Lucky Loser 2 | |
| 13 | TND | 41.25 | Lucky Loser 3 | |
| 14 | FRWL | 41.25 | Lucky Loser 4 | |
| 15 | Die Another Day | 41.25 | Lucky Loser 5 | |
| 16 | FYEO | 39.73 | Lucky Loser 6 | |
| 17 | TWINE | 38.75 | ||
| 18 | Spectre | 38.15 | ||
| 19 | TLD | 30 | ||
| 20 | AVTAK | 26.4 | ||
| 21 | Octopussy | 20 | ||
| 22 | TMwtGG | 19.13 | ||
| 23 | Dr No | 16.68 | ||
| 24 | QoS | 14.63 | ||
| 25 | Licence to Kill | 10.08 |
Die Another Day in 15th… I feel quite lightheaded. If heavyhearted.
Bonus Points to Date
| Film | Bonus Points | |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Goldfinger | 22 |
| 2 | OHMSS | 18 |
| 3 | Spectre | 12 |
| 4 | The Living Daylights | 11 |
| 5 | Octopussy | 10 |
| 6 | Thunderball | 8 |
| 7 | Quantum of Solace | 6 |
| 8 | A View to a Kill | 6 |
| 9 | GoldenEye | 5 |
| 10 | No Time to Die | 4 |
| 11 | The Spy who Loved Me | 3 |
| 12 | Die Another Day | 1 |
| 13 | TWINE | 1 |
| 14 | Dr No | 1 |
| 15 | For Your Eyes Only | 1 |
| 16 | Tomorrow Never Dies | 0 |
| 17 | You Only Live Twice | -3 |
| 18 | The Man with the Golden Gun | -5 |
| 19 | Live and Let Die | -6 |
| 20 | From Russia with Love | -10 |
| 21 | Skyfall | -12 |
| 22 | Diamonds are Forever | -13 |
| 23 | Moonraker | -13 |
| 24 | Licence to Kill | -16 |
| 25 | Casino Royale | -16 |
A little bit of reining in of Goldfinger could go a long way. Is the Spectre reappraisal underway? Hopefully not. Moonraker is underperforming very badly.
3 Likes
Oi! You! Over here! Wrap your spudgrinders round the Form Table after the Second Round for Title Sequences.
| Title Sequence | % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Skyfall | 85.78 | (-0.4) | - |
| 2 | OHMSS | 81.06 | (-1.84) | - |
| 3 | Casino Royale | 80.88 | (-1.8) | - |
| 4 | TSWLM | 76.44 | (-1.06) | - |
| 5 | GoldenEye | 73.44 | (-0.31) | - |
| 6 | Live and Let Die | 69.68 | (0.63) | +1 |
| 7 | YOLT | 64.59 | (-6.42) | -1 |
| 8 | Thunderball | 64.22 | (-0.78) | +2 |
| 9 | Goldfinger | 62.4 | (-5.88) | -1 |
| 10 | Moonraker | 59.42 | (-7.86) | -1 |
| 11 | DAF | 56.38 | (1.18) | +1 |
| 12 | No Time to Die | 51.56 | (-6.32) | -1 |
| 13 | TWINE | 38.75 | - | +4 |
| 14 | FRWL | 38.56 | (-2.69) | - |
| 15 | TND | 38.26 | (-2.99) | -2 |
| 16 | Spectre | 38.15 | - | +2 |
| 17 | FYEO | 37.34 | (-2.39) | -1 |
| 18 | Die Another Day | 36.16 | (-5.09) | -3 |
| 19 | TLD | 30 | ||
| 20 | AVTAK | 26.4 | ||
| 21 | Octopussy | 20 | ||
| 22 | TMwtGG | 19.13 | ||
| 23 | Dr No | 16.68 | ||
| 24 | QoS | 14.63 | ||
| 25 | Licence to Kill | 10.08 |
Well, Die Another Day couldn’t last but that is substantially the best performance by a Die Another Day element - ever. Is it time for a reDayssance? I sincerely hope not.
TWINE seems to benefit from the arguable injustice done in the Group Stage by taking advantage of some poor performances in the Second Round. You Only Live Twice drops but one place but is out of the Knockout, in which it was second seed, opening up the bottom half of the draw, which maintains some level of interest yet. You are obliged to be interested.
IT IS SO TENSE THAT I HAVE DENIED THE EXISTENCE OF OREGON.
5 Likes
Cram me with cress, it’s getting exciting.
But enough about that, how about the Form Table after the Quarter-Finals stage for Title Sequences? How about it? You know you want to.
| Title Sequence | % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Casino Royale | 79.9 | (-0.98) | +2 |
| 2 | OHMSS | 78.88 | (-5.18) | - |
| 3 | Skyfall | 75.65 | (-10.13) | -2 |
| 4 | TSWLM | 72.87 | (-3.57) | - |
| 5 | GoldenEye | 68.7 | (-4.74) | - |
| 6 | Live and Let Die | 67.23 | (-2.45) | - |
| 7 | YOLT | 64.59 | ||
| 8 | Goldfinger | 62.4 | - | +1 |
| 9 | Thunderball | 61.85 | (-2.37) | -1 |
| 10 | Moonraker | 59.42 | ||
| 11 | DAF | 54.48 | (-1.9) | - |
| 12 | No Time to Die | 51.56 | ||
| 13 | TWINE | 38.75 | ||
| 14 | FRWL | 38.56 | ||
| 15 | TND | 38.26 | ||
| 16 | Spectre | 38.15 | ||
| 17 | FYEO | 37.34 | ||
| 18 | Die Another Day | 36.16 | ||
| 19 | TLD | 30 | ||
| 20 | AVTAK | 26.4 | ||
| 21 | Octopussy | 20 | ||
| 22 | TMwtGG | 19.13 | ||
| 23 | Dr No | 16.68 | ||
| 24 | QoS | 14.63 | ||
| 25 | Licence to Kill | 10.08 |
Big change at the top, and Skyfall really took a tumble, there. Things could still slightly work to its advantage should the top two, deathing each other in the Semi-Finals, gnaw great flippin’ chunks out of each other.
The Thunderball / OHMSS draw of their Quarter-Final vote fell in favour of OHMSS due to basically doing better throughout. In passing each gained a point for wiping the floor with Tomorrow Never Dies, which does go to show one can derive what ought to be from what is.
Goldfinger stealthily improves its position and one has to admire the brass - the gold? - neck of it; even when not doing that well, it’s still in the Top Ten.
Three new players in the Semi-Finals compared to last year and can’t overlook the fact - for fact it be - that The Spy who Loved Me came top of the Form last time out, so still fascinations galore ahead.
MY GOD IT IS SO TENSE THAT I HAVE ABOLISHED THE CONCEPT OF HUME’S GUILLOTINE. SO THERE. YOU’RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO COPE WITHOUT IT, M’LOVE.
5 Likes
Hey there, sexylobes - let’s have a look at the Semi-Final form table for Title Sequences. Yes, let’s.
| Title Sequence | % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Casino Royale | 80.99 | (+1.09) | - |
| 2 | Skyfall | 75.65 | (-) | +1 |
| 3 | TSWLM | 71.39 | (-1.48) | +1 |
| 4 | OHMSS | 69.4 | (-9.48) | -2 |
| 5 | GoldenEye | 68.7 | ||
| 6 | YOLT | 64.59 | (-) | +1 |
| 7 | Live and Let Die | 62.98 | (-4.25) | -1 |
| 8 | Goldfinger | 62.4 | ||
| 9 | Thunderball | 61.85 | ||
| 10 | Moonraker | 59.42 | ||
| 11 | DAF | 54.48 | ||
| 12 | No Time to Die | 51.56 | ||
| 13 | TWINE | 38.75 | ||
| 14 | FRWL | 38.56 | ||
| 15 | TND | 38.26 | ||
| 16 | Spectre | 38.15 | ||
| 17 | FYEO | 37.34 | ||
| 18 | Die Another Day | 36.16 | ||
| 19 | TLD | 30 | ||
| 20 | AVTAK | 26.4 | ||
| 21 | Octopussy | 20 | ||
| 22 | TMwtGG | 19.13 | ||
| 23 | Dr No | 16.68 | ||
| 24 | QoS | 14.63 | ||
| 25 | Licence to Kill | 10.08 |
Frankly, Casino Royale needs a win so this may well all play out in its favour. OHMSS falls from the clock hands a bit, and there’s still a bit to play for in the Death-Off and the Final.
There’s a definite top half here. Yes, I know 25 is an odd number so that’s not precisely correct, but don’t be a picky twerp, darling.
Leave that to me.
4 Likes
Bit later than I would have liked, but possibly earlier than you deserve, the total fallout of the Title Sequences runs thus:
Knockout
Winner: Casino Royale
Runner-Up: The Spy who Loved Me
3rd: OHMSS
4th: Live and Let Die
Title Sequence Knockouts over the Years
| 2022 | 2023 | 2024 | 2025 | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Winner | Casino Royale | Casino Royale | Casino Royale | Casino Royale |
| Runner-Up | TSWLM | Skyfall | Skyfall | TSLWM |
| 3rd | OHMSS | OHMSS | YOLT | OHMSS |
| 4th | Goldfinger | YOLT | Goldfinger | LALD |
Dominance, certainly, but the other places at least shuffle about. Well, a bit.
Binder - 8 placings
Kleinmann - 6 placings
Brownjohn - 2 placings
Seems about right.
Deathmatch Knockout outcomes Year to Date
| Villain | Song | Bond | Women | Hench | Titles | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Winner | Goldfinger | Live and Let Die | Goldfinger | OHMSS | The Spy who Loved Me | Casino Royale |
| Runner-Up | Skyfall | Diamonds are Forever | Thunderball | Casino Royale | Goldfinger | TSWLM |
| 3rd | Moonraker | The Spy who Loved Me | From Russia with Love | Thunderball | Diamonds are Forever | OHMSS |
| 4th | From Russia with Love | You Only Live Twice | Casino Royale | Goldfinger | GoldenEye | LALD |
Looks like it’s just not Quantum of Solace’s year. Again. GoldenEye broke through in the last category but even with an impressive 3rd place in the Form table for Title Sequences, has been very much shut out this time. GoldenEye - Know Your Place.
Final Form Table - Title Sequences
| Title Sequence | % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Casino Royale | 80.59 | (-0.4) | - |
| 2 | Skyfall | 75.65 | ||
| 3 | GoldenEye | 68.7 | (-) | +2 |
| 4 | OHMSS | 67.68 | (-1.72) | - |
| 5 | TSWLM | 65.24 | (-6.15) | -2 |
| 6 | YOLT | 64.59 | ||
| 7 | Goldfinger | 62.4 | (-) | +1 |
| 8 | Thunderball | 61.85 | - | +1 |
| 9 | Live and Let Die | 60.66 | (-2.32) | -2 |
| 10 | Moonraker | 59.42 | ||
| 11 | DAF | 54.48 | ||
| 12 | No Time to Die | 51.56 | ||
| 13 | TWINE | 38.75 | ||
| 14 | FRWL | 38.56 | ||
| 15 | TND | 38.26 | ||
| 16 | Spectre | 38.15 | ||
| 17 | FYEO | 37.34 | ||
| 18 | Die Another Day | 36.16 | ||
| 19 | TLD | 30 | ||
| 20 | AVTAK | 26.4 | ||
| 21 | Octopussy | 20 | ||
| 22 | TMwtGG | 19.13 | ||
| 23 | Dr No | 16.68 | ||
| 24 | QoS | 14.63 | ||
| 25 | Licence to Kill | 10.08 |
Casino Royale does the Grand Slam, or Royal Flush, or the Yahtzee or whatever rubbish it all is, and the overwhelming win pushes GoldenEye up and The Spy who Loved Me down. How is that a just and fair World, then? Answer me. Bet you can’t.
Goldfinger and Thunderball do their Top Ten thing, the little tinkers.
Averages over the Years and Pots and Seeds for 2026
| 2022 | 2023 | 2024 | 2025 | Avge | Pot/Seed | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dr No | 20 | 16 | 20 | 23 | 19.75 | P2 |
| FRWL | 8 | 14 | 16 | 14 | 13 | P1 |
| Goldfinger | 5 | 12 | 9 | 7 | 8.25 | S8 |
| Thunderball | 12 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 7.5 | S7 |
| YOLT | 2 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 4 | S3 |
| OHMSS | 2 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3.75 | S2 |
| DAF | 10 | 13 | 11 | 11 | 11.25 | P1 |
| LALD | 11 | 10 | 7 | 9 | 9.25 | S10 |
| TMwtGG | 21 | 21 | 23 | 22 | 21.75 | P3 |
| TSWLM | 6 | 6 | 1 | 5 | 4.5 | S5 |
| Moonraker | 7 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8.5 | S9 |
| FYEO | 16 | 15 | 12 | 17 | 15 | P1 |
| Octopussy | 23 | 23 | 17 | 21 | 21 | P3 |
| AVTAK | 22 | 22 | 19 | 20 | 20.75 | P3 |
| TLD | 17 | 18 | 21 | 19 | 18.75 | P2 |
| LTK | 24 | 25 | 24 | 25 | 24.5 | P3 |
| GoldenEye | 9 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 4.5 | S4 |
| TND | 14 | 8 | 13 | 15 | 12.5 | P1 |
| TWINE | 18 | 19 | 18 | 13 | 17 | P2 |
| DAD | 19 | 20 | 22 | 18 | 19.75 | P2 |
| CRoyale | 1 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 1.25 | S1 |
| QoS | 25 | 24 | 25 | 24 | 24.5 | P3 |
| Skyfall | 4 | 7 | 10 | 2 | 5.75 | S6 |
| Spectre | 15 | 17 | 15 | 16 | 15.75 | P2 |
| NTTD | 13 | 11 | 14 | 12 | 12.5 | P1 |
Lots finished worse this year than last, which right royally buggers up the Bonus Points. Except Goldfinger, obv.
The 1980s - not a title sequence high point but you didn’t need to subject yourself to this piffle to know that.
Most Valuable Player
| Placings | Wins | Top Tens | Top Form | Points | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Goldfinger | 4 | 2 | 6 | 3 | 15 |
| Casino Royale | 3 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 10 |
| TSWLM | 3 | 1 | 6 | 0 | 10 |
| OHMSS | 2 | 1 | 5 | 0 | 8 |
| Thunderball | 2 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 8 |
| LALD | 2 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 7 |
| FRWL | 2 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 5 |
| DAF | 2 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 5 |
| Moonraker | 1 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 5 |
| Skyfall | 1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 4 |
| YOLT | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 3 |
| GoldenEye | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 3 |
A relentless march. Can Goldfinger be stopped?
Bonus Points to Date
| Film | Bonus Points |
|---|---|
| Goldfinger | 24 |
| OHMSS | 17 |
| The Living Daylights | 13 |
| Spectre | 11 |
| Quantum of Solace | 7 |
| Octopussy | 6 |
| Thunderball | 6 |
| No Time to Die | 6 |
| TWINE | 6 |
| Die Another Day | 5 |
| A View to a Kill | 5 |
| GoldenEye | 4 |
| The Spy who Loved Me | -1 |
| Dr No | -2 |
| Tomorrow Never Dies | -2 |
| For Your Eyes Only | -4 |
| You Only Live Twice | -4 |
| The Man with the Golden Gun | -4 |
| Skyfall | -4 |
| Live and Let Die | -8 |
| From Russia with Love | -8 |
| Diamonds are Forever | -13 |
| Moonraker | -15 |
| Casino Royale | -15 |
| Licence to Kill | -17 |
Seemingly not.
Quantum of Solace, by Elvis not actually doing any worse in the previous category (impossible anyway) and doing a bit better with its Title Sequence in this latest one, creeps up the table. That was kinda the idea behind the Bonus Points, not that “Goldfinger wins”.
Moonraker - do come along, now. You can do better than this, you know. You’re not only letting me down, you’re letting yourself down. Sort it or abort it, sunshine.
3 Likes
Oh time, she rushes away from me like you do when I have my groping mitts on. We’ve already reached the end of the Group Stage for Victims for 2025; accordingly:
| Group A | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kerim | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 61 | 7 | 54 | 89.7 | 12 |
| Vijay | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 40 | 28 | 12 | 58.83 | 9 |
| Plenty | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 37 | 31 | 6 | 54.43 | 6 |
| Rosie | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 14 | 54 | -40 | 20.58 | 3 |
| White | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 18 | 50 | -32 | 26.48 | 0 |
Bit of a surprise with Vijay yo-yoing above Plenty, who takes a fall. The experiment with Rosie Carver didn’t work, on the basis she actually performed even more poorly than Strutter did in the past, so it’s back to Strutter next year, then. At Group Stage, it’s about the wins but technically Mr White does better than Rosie on form, which is a pretty miserable thought given his physical state, and that he is at heart really evil whereas she’s just a bit daft and misguided.
| Group B | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jill | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 61 | 7 | 54 | 89.7 | 12 |
| Lisl | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 40 | 28 | 12 | 58.8 | 9 |
| Fields | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 36 | 32 | 4 | 52.95 | 6 |
| Zukovsky | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 26 | 42 | -16 | 38.25 | 3 |
| Mishkin | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 7 | 61 | -54 | 10.3 | 0 |
Again, something of a reverse with the Scouse Countess finishing above the Moistened Fields. Jill Masterson ends up with an identical outcome to Kerim in Group A, but will top the form group due to some bigger wins. The bottom two I have already forgotten about, and I do wonder whether their respective films offer up any better options. Sir Robert King? Millions of Russian soldiers mown down by Bond in St Petersburg? Ideas welcome (hint: not really).
| Group C | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Aki | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 52 | 16 | 36 | 76.48 | 12 |
| Della | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 45 | 23 | 22 | 66.18 | 9 |
| Solange | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 39 | 29 | 10 | 57.35 | 6 |
| Saunders | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 31 | 37 | -6 | 45.58 | 3 |
| Moon | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 65 | -62 | 4.43 | 0 |
Saunders will get through to the Second Round, largely by dint of being in The Group with Die Another Day In It, but perhaps on his own merits; always through him a bit underacknowledged and his death is absolutely horrible. Gen. Moon restores balance by finishing last, but ectually improves on last year. The top three are among the more tragic deaths, arguably.
If anyone can think of another Victim for Die Another Day, other than my mental wellbeing if I ever have to watch it again, do say (hint: not really).
| Group D | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Corrine | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 53 | 15 | 38 | 77.93 | 12 |
| Felix | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 48 | 20 | 28 | 70.63 | 9 |
| Andrea | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 35 | 33 | 2 | 51.45 | 6 |
| Paris | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 23 | 44 | -21 | 34.85 | 3 |
| Felicca | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 10 | 57 | -47 | 15.15 | 0 |
Felicca did better than Commander Talbot, so Felicca stays. Felicca Lives! Or not, as the case most certainly may be.
Always odd to see Andrea a bit underloved (a character trait, perhaps) but will get through to the Second Round to deathmatch (it’s a verb, shut up) Severine, which as they are both basically the same character idea in a different hat, seems fair enough.
| Group E | Played | W | D | L | F | A | GD | % | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Severine | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 55 | 13 | 42 | 80.88 | 12 |
| Quarrel | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 42 | 26 | 16 | 61.75 | 9 |
| Tibbett | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 42 | 26 | 16 | 61.78 | 6 |
| Paula | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 27 | 41 | -14 | 39.7 | 3 |
| Campbell | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 64 | -60 | 5.9 | 0 |
Viva Tibbett! A remarkable performance by a fat old man. Will pip Quarrel in the form rankings, which is especially “interesting”. Also interesting is Paula’s fall from being a seed a couple of years ago to being well out of it now. That’ll really mash up Thunderball’s overall chances. Campbell - well, given the “other” Victim, it’s not really fair but there he is again, a-dangle.
Form Table after Group Stage - Victims
| Victim | Form % | Seed | Group Outcome | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jill | 89.7 | 2 | Winner B |
| 2 | Kerim | 89.7 | 1 | Winner A |
| 3 | Severine | 80.88 | 5 | Winner E |
| 4 | Corrine | 77.93 | 4 | Winner D |
| 5 | Aki | 76.48 | 3 | Winner C |
| 6 | Felix | 70.63 | 7 | Runner-Up D |
| 7 | Della | 66.18 | 8 | Runner-Up C |
| 8 | Tibbett | 61.78 | Lucky Loser 1 | |
| 9 | Quarrel | 61.75 | 6 | Runner-Up E |
| 10 | Vijay | 58.83 | Runner-Up A | |
| 11 | Lisl | 58.8 | Runner-Up B | |
| 12 | Solonge | 57.35 | Lucky Loser 2 | |
| 13 | Plenty | 54.43 | 10 | Lucky Loser 3 |
| 14 | Fields | 52.95 | 9 | Lucky Loser 4 |
| 15 | Andrea | 51.45 | Lucky Loser 5 | |
| 16 | Saunders | 45.58 | Lucky Loser 6 | |
| 17 | Paula | 39.7 | ||
| 18 | Zukovsky | 38.25 | ||
| 19 | Paris | 34.85 | ||
| 20 | White | 26.48 | ||
| 21 | Rosie | 20.58 | ||
| 22 | Felicca | 15.15 | ||
| 23 | Mishkin | 10.3 | ||
| 24 | Campbell | 5.9 | ||
| 25 | Moon | 4.43 |
Bit of a seed mess, that.
Bonus Points to Date
| Film | Bonus Points |
|---|---|
| Goldfinger | 26 |
| OHMSS | 15 |
| The Living Daylights | 12 |
| Spectre | 12 |
| A View to a Kill | 8 |
| Octopussy | 7 |
| No Time to Die | 7 |
| TWINE | 7 |
| Quantum of Solace | 5 |
| Die Another Day | 5 |
| Thunderball | 3 |
| GoldenEye | 2 |
| The Spy who Loved Me | 0 |
| For Your Eyes Only | -1 |
| Dr No | -3 |
| Skyfall | -3 |
| Tomorrow Never Dies | -4 |
| You Only Live Twice | -4 |
| From Russia with Love | -6 |
| The Man with the Golden Gun | -7 |
| Live and Let Die | -10 |
| Casino Royale | -12 |
| Diamonds are Forever | -14 |
| Moonraker | -16 |
| Licence to Kill | -16 |
Goldfinger is still improving on last year, amazingly. Felicca earned The Spy who Loved Me one extra Bonus Point, so we like Felicca and she can stay. Inevitably OHMSS took a bit of a step back but could still do it, given some of the categories yet to come.
Corrine Dufour needs to pull Moonraker up by the bootstraps. Or shoelaces, depending on the shot.
5 Likes
Well, I never! The very nerve! A bowler bonk for you, you bounder.
5 Likes
Ow.
Whilst I recover from this wholly unprovoked assault, clamp yer goggs round the Form Table following the Second Round for Victims:
| Victim | Form % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jill | 88.24 | (-1.46) | - |
| 2 | Kerim | 87.32 | (-2.38) | - |
| 3 | Severine | 78.82 | (-2.06) | - |
| 4 | Corrine | 76.76 | (-1.47) | - |
| 5 | Aki | 75.3 | (-1.18) | - |
| 6 | Felix | 71.8 | (+1.17) | - |
| 7 | Della | 63.52 | (-2.66) | - |
| 8 | Quarrel | 58.82 | (-2.93) | +1 |
| 9 | Vijay | 56.48 | (-2.35) | +1 |
| 10 | Tibbett | 53.86 | (-7.92) | -2 |
| 11 | Lisl | 51.74 | (-7.06) | - |
| 12 | Plenty | 49.42 | (-5.01) | +1 |
| 13 | Solonge | 49.4 | (-7.95) | -1 |
| 14 | Fields | 48.24 | (-4.71) | - |
| 15 | Saunders | 47.04 | (+1.56) | +1 |
| 16 | Andrea | 47.04 | (-4.41) | -1 |
| 17 | Paula | 39.7 | ||
| 18 | Zukovsky | 38.25 | ||
| 19 | Paris | 34.85 | ||
| 20 | White | 26.48 | ||
| 21 | Rosie | 20.58 | ||
| 22 | Felicca | 15.15 | ||
| 23 | Mishkin | 10.3 | ||
| 24 | Campbell | 5.9 | ||
| 25 | Moon | 4.43 |
That’ll be a Top Ten finish for (I am under injunction to read this out) thin young man Tibbett, so well done, tip top and toffee, but can we draw a fat old line under this incident now, please?
Bit of up-and-down but especially pleasing that Saunders saunters into the Quarter-Finals with a closely fought contest with his fellow bisectee, Vijay. I have to mop up afterwards and it was… well, it was horrid.
6 Likes
I told a lie. A man of my significance and powers, with a mop?
Anyway, whilst we all recover from that, have a nice biccie and gawp at the Form Table after the Quarter-Finals for Victims:
| Victim | Form % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Kerim | 85.73 | (-1.59) | +1 |
| 2 | Jill | 84.65 | (-3.59) | -1 |
| 3 | Corrine | 75.08 | (-1.68) | +1 |
| 4 | Aki | 70.65 | (-4.65) | +1 |
| 5 | Severine | 69.38 | (-9.44) | -2 |
| 6 | Felix | 68.6 | (-3.2) | - |
| 7 | Quarrel | 58.82 | +1 | |
| 8 | Della | 58.48 | (-5.04) | -1 |
| 9 | Vijay | 56.48 | ||
| 10 | Tibbett | 53.86 | ||
| 11 | Lisl | 51.74 | ||
| 12 | Plenty | 49.42 | ||
| 13 | Solonge | 49.4 | ||
| 14 | Fields | 48.24 | ||
| 15 | Andrea | 47.04 | +1 | |
| 16 | Saunders | 44.75 | (-2.29) | -1 |
| 17 | Paula | 39.7 | ||
| 18 | Zukovsky | 38.25 | ||
| 19 | Paris | 34.85 | ||
| 20 | White | 26.48 | ||
| 21 | Rosie | 20.58 | ||
| 22 | Felicca | 15.15 | ||
| 23 | Mishkin | 10.3 | ||
| 24 | Campbell | 5.9 | ||
| 25 | Moon | 4.43 |
Saunders did not disgrace himself, and had an effect on the top two changing places. Good lad, even if after losing he’s now in pieces. Three pieces.
Slight surprise that Felix Leiter (for No Time to Die, mark you) gets through to the Semi-Finals, which will mean a placing, so that’s at least novel if not that fascinating. One all-male Semi-Final, one all-women - who says the Bond films exemplify female suffering?
Tibbett is still thin and young.
5 Likes
Oh, lovey. that does suit you, especially the way the straps buckle up at the back. As you’re here, and before we fit the iron mask onto your head, have a gander at the Form Table following the Semi-Final stage for Victims…
| Victim | Form % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Kerim | 83.3 | (-2.43) | - |
| 2 | Jill | 77.91 | (-6.74) | - |
| 3 | Corrine | 73.28 | (-1.8) | - |
| 4 | Aki | 70.65 | ||
| 5 | Severine | 69.38 | ||
| 6 | Felix | 63.26 | (-5.34) | - |
| 7 | Quarrel | 58.82 | ||
| 8 | Della | 58.48 | ||
| 9 | Vijay | 56.48 | ||
| 10 | Tibbett | 53.86 | ||
| 11 | Lisl | 51.74 | ||
| 12 | Plenty | 49.42 | ||
| 13 | Solonge | 49.4 | ||
| 14 | Fields | 48.24 | ||
| 15 | Andrea | 47.04 | ||
| 16 | Saunders | 44.75 | ||
| 17 | Paula | 39.7 | ||
| 18 | Zukovsky | 38.25 | ||
| 19 | Paris | 34.85 | ||
| 20 | White | 26.48 | ||
| 21 | Rosie | 20.58 | ||
| 22 | Felicca | 15.15 | ||
| 23 | Mishkin | 10.3 | ||
| 24 | Campbell | 5.9 | ||
| 25 | Moon | 4.43 |
Probably a From Russia with Love checkmate across both form and knockout to come, but still interesting to see how that Top Ten has played its way through. Some Bonus Points ahoy! What else is that on the horizon? Is that a great white Whale? Oh, no, it’s [young and thin] Tibbett having his annual bath.
3 Likes
Due to an upcoming holiday, the next category for Costume/Garb will begin today - even before Victims are done! Even in Deathmatch, my munificence is boundless.
7 Likes
Right, so Victims have been fully shredded or shot or strangled or whatever befell them, and the final outcomes are:
Knockout
Winner: Kerim
Runner-Up: Corrine
3rd: Jill
4th: Felix
Knockouts for Victims - historic
| 2022 | 2023 | 2024 | 2025 | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Winner | Licence to Kill | From Russia with Love | Moonraker | From Russia with Love |
| Runner-Up | Skyfall | Goldfinger | From Russia with Love | Moonraker |
| 3rd | Goldfinger | No Time to Die | Goldfinger | Goldfinger |
| 4th | Moonraker | You Only Live Twice | You Only Live Twice | No Time to Die |
Bit more of a mixed category, although the statutory Goldfinger is always lurking…
Licence to Kill won something, once. Its current trends are not that encouraging.
Deathmatch Outcomes to Date - 2025
| Villain | Song | Bond | Women | Hench | Titles | Victims | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Winner | Goldfinger | Live and Let Die | Goldfinger | OHMSS | The Spy who Loved Me | Casino Royale | From Russia with Love |
| Runner-Up | Skyfall | Diamonds are Forever | Thunderball | Casino Royale | Goldfinger | The Spy who Loved Me | Moonraker |
| 3rd | Moonraker | The Spy who Loved Me | From Russia with Love | Thunderball | Diamonds are Forever | OHMSS | Goldfinger |
| 4th | From Russia with Love | You Only Live Twice | Casino Royale | Goldfinger | GoldenEye | Live and Let Die | No Time to Die |
Possibly a little more variety than previous years, although still dominated by the 1960s. Age cannot wither them, nor custom stale their infinite variety.
Final Form Table - Victims
| Victim | Form % | (% shift) | Form shift | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Kerim | 81.54 | (-1.76) | - |
| 2 | Jill | 76.82 | (-1.09) | - |
| 3 | Aki | 70.65 | +1 | |
| 4 | Severine | 69.38 | +1 | |
| 5 | Corrine | 67.97 | (-5.31) | -2 |
| 6 | Felix | 59.2 | (-4.06) | - |
| 7 | Quarrel | 58.82 | ||
| 8 | Della | 58.48 | ||
| 9 | Vijay | 56.48 | ||
| 10 | Tibbett | 53.86 | ||
| 11 | Lisl | 51.74 | ||
| 12 | Plenty | 49.42 | ||
| 13 | Solonge | 49.4 | ||
| 14 | Fields | 48.24 | ||
| 15 | Andrea | 47.04 | ||
| 16 | Saunders | 44.75 | ||
| 17 | Paula | 39.7 | ||
| 18 | Zukovsky | 38.25 | ||
| 19 | Paris | 34.85 | ||
| 20 | White | 26.48 | ||
| 21 | Rosie | 20.58 | ||
| 22 | Felicca | 15.15 | ||
| 23 | Mishkin | 10.3 | ||
| 24 | Campbell | 5.9 | ||
| 25 | Moon | 4.43 |
From Russia with Love does indeed bash the bishop or win the horsey-shaped piece, or whatever the silly game’s rules are, with both a win in knockout and the form table. Vijay scores Octopussy’s first top ten finish of the year; a valuable sacrifice. The bottom four probably aren’t going anywhere.
Form Table over the years, Pots and Seeds for 2026
| 2022 | 2023 | 2024 | 2025 | Avge | Pot/Seed | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dr No | 8 | 9 | 5 | 7 | 7.25 | S7 |
| FRWL | 1 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 1.25 | S1 |
| Goldfinger | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2.25 | S2 |
| Thunderball | 10 | 8 | 18 | 17 | 13.25 | P1 |
| YOLT | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3.5 | S3 |
| OHMSS | 23 | 23 | 24 | 24 | 23.5 | P3 |
| DAF | 14 | 10 | 8 | 12 | 11 | P1 |
| LALD | 20 | 20 | 20 | 21 | 20.25 | P2 |
| TMwtGG | 9 | 12 | 12 | 15 | 12 | P1 |
| TSWLM | 19 | 24 | 23 | 22 | 22 | P3 |
| Moonraker | 5 | 6 | 1 | 5 | 4.25 | S4 |
| FYEO | 15 | 11 | 16 | 11 | 13.25 | P1 |
| Octopussy | 7 | 17 | 9 | 9 | 10.5 | S10 |
| AVTAK | 18 | 14 | 13 | 10 | 13.75 | P1 |
| TLD | 13 | 16 | 15 | 16 | 15 | P2 |
| LTK | 3 | 13 | 10 | 8 | 8.5 | S8 |
| GoldenEye | 25 | 22 | 22 | 23 | 23 | P3 |
| TND | 17 | 18 | 17 | 19 | 17.25 | P2 |
| TWINE | 21 | 21 | 19 | 18 | 19.75 | P2 |
| DAD | 22 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 24.25 | P3 |
| CRoyale | 16 | 15 | 14 | 13 | 14.5 | P2 |
| QoS | 11 | 5 | 11 | 14 | 10.25 | S9 |
| Skyfall | 6 | 7 | 6 | 4 | 5.75 | S5 |
| Spectre | 24 | 19 | 21 | 20 | 21 | P3 |
| NTTD | 12 | 4 | 7 | 6 | 7.25 | S6 |
Vijay will be 10th seed, a situation considerably better than in his other career. Perhaps if, at the end of every one of their encounters, Bjorn Borg had strangled him with some of his eponymous underpants, it might be closer.
Despite the sturdy / lithe efforts of [young and thin] Tibbett, he doesn’t quite crack the seedings; perhaps next year, when he will be even [younger and thinner].
Rosie will be dumped next year, back in favour of Strutter, although it’s pretty clear he can’t do that much better.
Victimhood is something the more recent films seem to have handled better than their Villains and their Henchpersons. Had to give something for Mr Craig to be miserable about, I s’pose.
Most Valuable Player
| Placings | Wins | Top Tens | Top Form | Points | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Goldfinger | 5 | 2 | 7 | 3 | 17 |
| Casino Royale | 3 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 10 |
| TSWLM | 3 | 1 | 6 | 0 | 10 |
| FRWL | 3 | 1 | 4 | 1 | 9 |
| OHMSS | 2 | 1 | 5 | 0 | 8 |
| Thunderball | 2 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 8 |
| LALD | 2 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 7 |
| Moonraker | 2 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 7 |
| Skyfall | 1 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 5 |
| DAF | 2 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 5 |
| YOLT | 1 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 4 |
| GoldenEye | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 3 |
| No Time to Die | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 3 |
More films here than at the same time last year, which might demonstrate the effectiveness of democracy, or its impact in thinning the spoils so much that Goldfinger is cruising to victory once again. Still a little way to go, but only 5 categories left and it shows little sign of slowing down…
Top Ten of Everything to Date
| 7 visits to Top Ten | 6 visits to Top Ten | 5 visits to Top Ten | 4 Visits to Top Ten | 3 visits to Top Ten | 2 visits to Top Ten | 1 visit to Top Ten | Yet to bother the scorers |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Goldfinger | Thunderball | OHMSS | From Russia with Love | Dr No | The Living Daylights | For Your Eyes Only | TMwtGG |
| The Spy who Loved Me | Moonraker | A View to a Kill | You Only Live Twice | GoldenEye | Octopussy | Tomorrow Never Dies | |
| Casino Royale | Diamonds are Forever | No Time to Die | TWINE | Die Another Day | |||
| Skyfall | Live and Let Die | Spectre | Quantum of Solace | ||||
| Licence to Kill |
Goldfinger noses ahead, leaving Thunderball and The Spy who Loved Me in its wake. That Felicca did not make this category’s Top Ten is perhaps no surprise, but I am intrigued by the relative unpopularity of Paula. With Mr White as the exception, although he’s dying anyway, she’s the only suicide here and it’s a grim little reflective pause of a scene amidst the Big Blue Bond Barmy Blockbuster - but hey ho.
Tibbett managed another Top Ten finish for A View to a Kill this year, and didn’t have to squeeze in because he is so very young and thin, so managed that easily.
Only four left in the zero pot; I think there’s an outside chance of Quantum of Solace breaking into the Top Ten for Costume/Garb, which includes Elvis’ wig.
Bonus Points to Date
| Film | Bonus Points |
|---|---|
| Goldfinger | 27 |
| OHMSS | 15 |
| Spectre | 13 |
| A View to a Kill | 11 |
| The Living Daylights | 11 |
| The World is Not Enough | 8 |
| No Time to Die | 8 |
| Octopussy | 7 |
| Die Another Day | 5 |
| Thunderball | 4 |
| For Your Eyes Only | 4 |
| Quantum of Solace | 2 |
| The Spy who Loved Me | 1 |
| GoldenEye | 1 |
| Skyfall | -1 |
| You Only Live Twice | -3 |
| From Russia with Love | -5 |
| Dr No | -5 |
| Tomorrow Never Dies | -6 |
| The Man with the Golden Gun | -10 |
| Casino Royale | -11 |
| Live and Let Die | -11 |
| Licence to Kill | -18 |
| Diamonds are Forever | -18 |
| Moonraker | -20 |
Yikes. Yikes on bikes. With spikes.
3 Likes