Deathmatch 2026: Sideswipes

June 1.

Yes or Mess?

(i.e Mess = No)

The only Bond actor of record (and this’ll include David Niven) actually capable of the range required for OHMSS, e.g. without dubbing another voice in whilst being a daft academic, was Roger Moore. All of the others would not have convinced in one or more requirements of that role.

  • Yes
  • Mess
0 voters
2 Likes

Moore, yes, yes.

Imagine Connery in a kilt. Okay, we can and don’t have to even imagine, plenty of photographic proof lying all around the internet. No, I did not download and put it on as my screensaver.

Seriously, though, Connery as Hilary Bray - even Pleasance turning into Savalas is more believable.

Dalton as Bray - very amusing, since we all would have felt more than a slight stiffness coming on, and Blofeld would have immediately doubted that BrayDalton could be so seriously and intensely debating the size of earlobes, so Bond‘s jig would have been up immediately.

Brosnan Bray… well, nobody could have worn the kilt as smugly smiling as him, but again Blofeld would have smelled a rat instantly because no expert in titles can enjoy life like Brosnan.

Braig or Cray… even M asking him to put on a kilt would have made him quit on the spot.

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I could see Dalton doing it (and we almost did). Brosnan had enough trouble with accents as it was. R was renamed Q in Die Another Day for that exact reason. It would be entertaining watching Craig try to convincingly pull off Hilary Bray.

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I voted yes but the more I think of it the less sure I am. Moore would have pulled off the Bray persona without a doubt - and in the comedy style intended in the film.

But why actually was that ‘cover’ even introduced? In the book Bond buys a couple of double-vented suits and a gold watch on a fob to look ‘posh’, but none of it is even mentioned later on. Bond strolls around in his golf wind-cheater and later steals anorak and gloves to escape from the mountain. Nothing indicates he’s actually posing in academic drag and his work on the Bleuville family tree is likely done with a sweater over his usual shortsleeved sports shirt. No plain set of glasses, no kilt or cardigan is mentioned. Is Hilary Bray even a Scotsman?

Fact is, the whole Bray segment of OHMSS was deliberately done as a - mild - comedy. The effect is a light chuckle amid the suspense of Bond in the enemy camp. You’d have to be willing of not taking the romp seriously - but still seriously enough to have us care for Bond. A bit like the yellowface ‘treatment’ in YOLT, only this time Blofeld chooses to pretend it works (or it works up to a point).

Could I see Dalton doing this? He’d very likely insisted to do it by the book, no kilts and glasses. Connery would have been delighted to be asked to wear the kilt but he was still decades away from playing an academic even in his chubby days. Brosnan would have struggled with the accent. But Craig? Who doesn’t shy away from pink velvet? I think if he’d be able to pull off the accent he might have had even the edge over the desk jockey requirement as shown in THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO.

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The seriousness Dalton and Craig could do. Brosnan could do the charm. Connery would be distracting, so, yes, Moore can do serious when he is (rarely) asked to and he treated charming like others treat breathing.

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The more I think about it, I agree. Roger would have relished such a persona and been believably upper class.

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Imagine Roger in a kilt… :laughing:

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Now I imagine both and the others in one.

Heck, even me. But I don’t want a divorce.

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Look at how much he enjoyed the Smythe cover in AVTAK. One of the funniest in the series.

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Everyone’s focusing on the “Bray” part of this question, but Jim does couch it with “e.g” and in the larger context of “range” and “one or more requirements.” Thus I interpret this question as “Could anyone else have managed the romance with Tracy, the grief of losing her, the Bray imposture and the action all in one film, better than Roger?” That to me is a different question.

I think Roger could easily have beaten Connery in selling a Bond capable of falling in love, at least if OHMSS came first in his run. Once his true tenure got underway no one seems more callous or misogynistic than early phase Roger-Bond, but later we can believe he feels real tenderness towards Melina, Octopussy and maybe even for some unfathomable reason Stacey. The proposal scene would’ve been great in Roger’s hands, and maybe losing Tracy would even help explain why he turns into such a cad in LALD and TMWTGG. Roger also could have aced Tracy’s death scene and it would have added weight to her mention in TSWLM and the cemetery visit in FYEO. Having said all that, Laz does surprisingly well with this material and his inexperience somehow projects a youthful vulnerability that really helps, if only perhaps by accident. I could also see Dalton handling it very well.

Obviously Roger could have sold the fatuous functionary disguise as Sir Hillary, so I’ll give him the nod there, as well. But here’s where we start to get into trouble: audiences seemed to have already been uncomfortable with all the things Lazenby was asked to do in this film: he had to fall in love, get his heart broken, suffer a crushing defeat, pose as a nerdy and possibly gay bureaucrat, etc. Lazenby exudes enough of a macho vibe to survive most of that, and anyway he never returns so there’s no “image” to preserve. Roger on the other hand would have been starting out already prettier, more “mannered” and “posh” and aristocratic than Sean or Laz, without their vibe of “I may be wearing Saville Row and sipping champagne but underneath I’m a brawler.” If he’d had to spend so much time in the Bray persona – in his first ever appearance as Bond, mind you – I think it could’ve made him seem too soft and poncey and made it harder for audiences to cope with the whiplash of the transition from Superman Sean to .Mushy Moore.

Years later, Roger-Bond would pose as the effete upper class twit James St John-Smythe and it’s disconcerting for me to watch because he seems more comfortable and natural in that skin than Bond’s. Similarly, after I saw Roger in “The Naked Face,” where his only “fight scene” is a one-sided beatdown where he’s pummeled to a pulp, I realized it was more believable than most or all of his Templar/Bond fights and I could never see those the same way again.

All of which is to say, could Roger have done all that OHMSS asked of an actor? Yes, I think so. But would it have been a smart way to start his tenure? Possibly not. Much as I love Roger – and he’s still my favorite Bond – a certain amount of deck-stacking needs to be done to make him work as an action hero capable of holding his own against the physical powerhouses he often faces in his adventures. A lot of OHMSS is about stripping away the “superman” persona to reveal the human side of Bond, while I would argue Roger needed the “superman” elements propped up under him, not pulled away.

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June 2.

Yes or Mess?

Amazon sort of buys into the codename theory and the first film is an inadvertent blood audition where several potential candidate agents for one remaining 00 status are in the field and find themselves being picked off until only James Bond remains, because he is James Bond. It’s an unsubtle reference to the casting process.

  • Yes
  • Mess
0 voters
2 Likes

Mess, although absolutely believable and a terrific meta idea someone will steal sooner than later.

In this particular case of Reboot Bond by placating the almighty guy who looks and acts like Blofeld but feels like JB (the initials shared! I am so cool! And I build rockets which look like me or my enhanced mini me in order to impress the Messes (Mrs.) and her current updated lips), the next film will be a soulless mix tape of everything billions of focus groups consider Bondian, boiling down to a one-liner smirking dressman for tuxedos and Walthers and Astons getting laid by plastic surgery-obligated sex slaves in luxury hotels which just accidentally have a T installed at their entries, in gold, of course, since Goldfinger actually was a very nice guy and so misunderstood.

3 Likes

Yes! Bring it on with all the candidates, even - especially! - the ones that are now too old like Madden, Elba, Isaacs, and the ones who were never in that group of hopeful candidates and/or counted themselves out.

Build a giant Circus Maximus in some hollow volcano with triumph arch and 350ft golden calf idol, treat it as a modern gladiator fight.

Then let the real Bond switch off the reactor cooling system/close the lava valve and end it with a two hour meltdown…

If that doesn’t fly it’s still a splendid entry for Celebrity Traitors. :man_shrugging:t3:

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June 1

Mess because I don’t think that Moore is the only one that could have done it. He could have done it very well, no doubt, but all of the actors who have played Bond could have handled the material in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service just fine.

The real twist on this that I’d love to see in some alternate universe is Roger Moore in Licence to Kill. An idea that might seem absurd on its face, I think that could have been a really intriguing idea that he could have pulled off much to most peoples’ surprise.

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You might have pre-empted another vote somewhere down the line this month…

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I seem to remember in THE WILD GEESE only Moore and Burton get away and subsequently meet Stewart Granger in his home to deliver payback. Moore plays the ruthless killer/mercenary in this flick entirely convincing (though it has to be said the audience apparently preferred him lighter, otherwise Cubby would have shifted Bond sooner in that direction).

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Mess, but I can see them doing it.

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Yes!

It’s time for a high-camp comedy with the likes of Clooney, Galifinakis, a Hemsworth brother, and Andy Murray (wft) all playing 007……oh, we’ve already done that???

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Remake CASINO ROYALE 1967 as a documentary. Now that explains a lot…

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The thing about the codename theory is that it makes no sense. Surely everyone in the MI-6 office would know the new guy’s real name; are they really expected to call him “James” around the water cooler when they know that’s not his name? And what would be the advantage of giving a succession of agents the name “James Bond” if he’s a secret agent? Is the mere name supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the bad guys because if so that would mean the name itself is famous in-universe. And while there are some hints that could indeed be the case in the classic films (“You just killed James Bond!”, “Your reputation precedes you of course” etc), that was a more fun, goofy era that I think we’ve left behind. Anyway anyone “in the business” in the 21st century would have more than a mere name to go on: they’d have Bond’s face in every database as well. When a new “James Bond” showed up, they’d know right away he wasn’t the previous one, and therefore any reputation the last guy might have built up would not be transferable to the newbie.

The only thing the name would do would be to alert the bad guys that this fellow is what MI-6 considers their number 1 operative and thus must be killed immediately; no monologuing, no fancy dinner first, no elaborate death trap, just shoot on sight. Going by “the name” would be like painting a target on your forehead.

I think the proposed plot would make for a fun comedy, but as noted already it’s been done before with the ‘67 CR, which it turns out was not very amusing after all, so MESS.

4 Likes