This week’s ranking is about the John Gardner main henchmen. Characters from the novelizations are eligible to be included.
So how do you rank the Gardner henchmen? Mine list goes as follows:
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Caber – LICENSE RENEWED – Gardner’s first is his best. Caber is a menacing henchman. He may not be the brightest, but he is frightening and James Bond has to use all his wits to get the better of him–and he still needs help to do it. Caber’s best scenes are the Highland Games fight with Bond and in their final encounter aboard the Starlifter.
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Ding aka Bone Bender – BROKENCLAW – This henchman is imposing and he has a good final fight with Bond, but it’s his only real show of evilness and badassery. I wish he would have had another scene or two to showcase his invincibility.
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Xenia Onatopp – GOLDENEYE – This Xenia is almost as enjoyable as Famke Janssen’s film version, but she is still great. Bond has his hands (and more) full with her.
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Dario – LICENCE TO KILL – This version is a more unpleasant character than the film’s Dario, and I don’t like him quite as well as Benicio Del Toro’s version either. Nevertheless, he is still a solid henchman and he gets a nice grisly comeuppance at the end.
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Nannie Norrich – NOBODY LIVES FOREVER – This is a double crossing character done right. It was still fairly early in Gardner’s run so it hadn’t become a staple yet. That would probably start happening in the next novel. But for this one story, Nannie works well in her role, and it is a surprise when it turns out she is a wrong 'un. Her demise is suitably gruesome.
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Mike Mazzard – FOR SPECIAL SERVICES – Blofeld’s enforcer is equally adept at giving out or following orders. He doesn’t do anything really special, but he is appropriately menacing throughout and he clearly doesn’t like Bond which is enough to place him here.
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Simon – ROLE OF HONOR – This SPECTRE soldier is highly capable and a threatening presence, nowhere illustrated better than when he is able to track and sneak up on Bond in the woods as 007 is hiding from Simon’s thugs following a car chase.
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Abou Hamarik & Ali Al Adwan & Saphii Boudai (Clover Pennington) aka The Man & The Snake & The Cat – WIN, LOSE OR DIE – This trio of henchmen are barely in the same room at the same time and yet all three serve as the main henchmen of BAST (the Brotherhood of Anarchy and Secret Terror). My favorite of these is Hamarik who assumes the greatest risk. Second would be Boudai/Pennington who has the biggest responsibility. All are very capable and are good at acting out different roles and personas. They are perhaps the most performative of any Bond henchmen.
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Anni Tudeer / 2 Mosolov’s Thugs aka Carbuncle-Nose & Runt – ICEBREAKER – When it comes to Icebreaker, I see there being TWO different villains and their respective teams. One is headed by Aarne Tudeer and serves as the main impetus for the story and the other is Kolya Mosolov who has his own separate mission to take down Bond. As a result, there are two sets of henchman (or I guess three in this case). Anni is one of the many double crossers in this story, but it definitely works in her case seeing as she really is daddy’s little girl. As for Carbuncle-Nose & Runt, they really don’t do much in the story other than get in a fight early on and never return, but they are the most noticeable of any of Mosolov’s men as he mainly goes about his mission solo. So while Carbuncle-Nose & Runt leave a bit to be desired, Anni is pretty good–good enough to keep the two teams in the top 10.
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Dominic Jellineck & Dorian Crone – DEATH IS FOREVER – These two are said to be really bad guys and they do have a bit of quirkiness to them that I like, but they don’t really do enough to be any higher.
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Filippo / Tomaso & Enrico – COLD FALL – Again, I see CF as being two missions, separated by four years. Filippo is the main henchman in the first part where he supplies the menace during the boat chase. Tomaso & Enrico are the most notable in the second part, but still don’t do much other than appear menacing.
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Beth – SEAFIRE – This is an interesting character. A sadistic henchwoman who has a drug habit. She has a good scene toward the end where she beats up Fredericka von Grüsse, but I would have liked to have seen more of her and her sadism.
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Bailey – SCORPIUS – This was one double-cross that I didn’t see coming. Bailey isn’t the typical main henchman, but he has the most to do of Vladimir Scorpius’ minions, and he does take over the mission to assassinate the president at the end when everything else has failed, so he gets the main henchman nod for me.
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Gleb Berzin – THE MAN FROM BARBAROSSA – Berzin is a bad dude but, as with the last few henchmen, doesn’t do much. However, I like him better than the last two.
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Mischa – NO DEALS, MR. BOND – Not an overly effective henchman, but he does seem to be Kolya Chernov’s main guy.
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Charles & William – NEVER SEND FLOWERS – These two don’t do much and are not that effective either. Their best scene is the firefight with Bond and Fredericka but it’s not enough to lift them from the bottom.
So what are your Gardner main henchman rankings?