Rank the main James Bond henchmen (films)

Films
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Continuing with a new James Bond list, this week we will be ranking the main James Bond henchmen from the films. As usual, Never Say Never Again is eligible to be used along with the EON series.

So rank the main Bond henchmen according to your personal preference.

Here is my rankings:

  1. Zbigniew “Jaws” Krycsiwiki – (Richard Kiel) – THE SPY WHO LOVED ME

  2. Oddjob – (Harold Sakata) – GOLDFINGER

  3. Hinx – (Dave Bautista) – SPECTRE

  4. Gobinda – (Kabir Bedi) – OCTOPUSSY

  5. Necros – (Andreas Wisniewski) – THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS

  6. “Tee-Hee” Johnson – (Julius W. Harris) – LIVE AND LET DIE

  7. Xenia Onatopp – (Famke Janssen) – GOLDENEYE

  8. Donald “Red” Grant – (Robert Shaw) – FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE

  9. Dario – (Benicio Del Toro) – LICENCE TO KILL

  10. “Windy” Wint & “Boofy” Kidd – (Bruce Glover & Putter Smith) – DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

  11. Patrice – (Ola Rapace) – SKYFALL

  12. Fiona Volpe – (Luciana Paluzzi) – THUNDERBALL

  13. Fatima Blush – (Barbara Carrera) – NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN

  14. Emile Leopold Locque – (Michael Gothard) – FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

  15. Chang – (Toshirô Suga) – MOONRAKER

  16. Richard Stamper – (Götz Otto) – TOMORROW NEVER DIES

  17. Tan Ling Zao – (Rick Yune) – DIE ANOTHER DAY

  18. May Day – (Grace Jones) – A VIEW TO A KILL

  19. Viktor “Renard” Zokas – (Robert Carlyle) – THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH

  20. “Cyclops” Primo – (Dali Benssalah) – NO TIME TO DIE

  21. Nick Nack – (Hervé Villechaize) – THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN

  22. Hans – (Ronald Rich) – YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE

  23. Grunther – (Yuri Borienko) – ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE

  24. 3 “Blind” Assassins – (Eric Coverley & Henry Lopez & Charles Edghill) – DR. NO

  25. Kratt – (Clemens Schick) – CASINO ROYALE

  26. Elvis – (Anatole Taubman) – QUANTUM OF SOLACE

There’s been a lot of good quality henchmen in the Bond series. I really like the top 18 (the top 13 are excellent) and even the next four have some good stuff to them. Kratt, though, doesn’t do much as Le Chiffre’s right-hand man, but only Elvis is truly terrible.

I like all the femme fatales but when it comes to henchmen/henchwomen, I prefer those that are a real physical threat to Bond. As a result the three most indestructible henchmen are at the top of my list.

I like Gobinda a lot and don’t understand why he isn’t more popular. He’s a really good henchman and he deserves more love. He doesn’t have to be at the top, but he’s got a unique look, he’s strong (crushes dice), he sees and hears everything as he is always alert, he’s imposing, and he’s good for a laugh when he questions his boss Kamal Khan’s order to go outside the plane to stop Bond–and he ultimately has a really good death. What’s not to like?

Necros has his fans, but I think he’s a bit underrated as well and so too, I think is Tee-Hee Johnson. I like Tee-Hee’s personality. Very jovial but willing to get down and dirty when he has to, and he enjoys it all the while.

I know I have Grant lower than most will. I like him, and I like him more as I get older and the more I see him, but I just like those above him just a little bit more. But he’s a great henchman.

But overall, the Bond series has done a really good job with its henchmen excepting the early Daniel Craig years, and I look forward to Amazon’s first one.

4 Likes
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  1. Mr. Wint & Mr. Kidd
  2. Mr. Hinx
  3. Nick Nack
  4. May Day
  5. Oddjob
  6. Chang
  7. The rest
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Xenia is my favourite, but whenever I hear the phrase ‘James Bond henchman’ it’s always Jaws and Oddjob that come to mind. They’re super iconic and I daresay won’t be matched or beaten in that regard. I admired the intent to create another character in that spirit but Hinx just didn’t hit the mark for me.

These would be my top 10:

Xenia
Jaws
Oddjob
Red Grant
Fiona Volpe
Nick Nack
Wint and Kidd
Stamper
Necros
Dario

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Jaws
Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd
Oddjob
Red Grant
Tee-Hee
Locque
Fatima
Xenia
Fiona
ChangCharrhh
Necros
Stamper
Hinx
Dario
Grunther

The others I find either not threatening or not memorable. Yes, even MayDay. Maybe because in contrast to Sir Roger I did not get a suprise addition while laying in bed with her.

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[quote=“Double-OhAgent, post:1, topic:3058”] I
like Gobinda a lot and don’t understand why he isn’t more popular. He’s a really good henchman and he deserves more love. He doesn’t have to be at the top, but he’s got a unique look, he’s strong (crushes dice), he sees and hears everything as he is always alert, he’s imposing, and he’s good for a laugh when he questions his boss Kamal Khan’s order to go outside the plane to stop Bond–and he ultimately has a really good death. What’s not to like?
[/quote]

He seems oddly detached - his altercations with Bond are brief (if both atop vehicles) and there’s no real physical encounter with Bond, just waving weapons about. I assume this is to avoid a fight with an older Bond, who would have to win, not looking daft given the age and build difference. He is, however, very mean to dice, so probably does merit a bit more fondness, even if it is a trick he picked up from Oddjob. His gimmick seems to be that he can talk, unlike many others.

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He can talk?

Even after my recent rewatch (well, okay, it’s been three months already) my mid-fifties memory has filed him under grunting and sinister stares.

But his combination with Kamal „Octoputhy… Octoputhy“ Khan is definitely one of the funniest two-man-acts of the series.

No match for Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, of course, who would smilingly introduce them to a scorpion or hand Gobinda a bombe surprise.

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Always struck me that there was unrequited romance between Gobinda and Kamal Khan and I will go on thinking that as it adds a dimension, and gives the film an element of pathos.

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Off the top of my head Gobinda has at least five or six lines of dialog:

When he and his thugs lose Bond after the tuk-tuk chase and bazaar fight, in disgust he says something like: “Shokran!”

When he stops by Bond’s “mink-lined prison” at Kamal Khan’s home he lets 007 know: “Dinner, 8 o’clock.”

He informs Khan that Bond is missing from his locked quarters: “The Englishman has escaped.”

He later informs Khan of the commotion outside the Monsoon Palace: “Girls, selling themselves.”

His incredulous response to Khan ordering him to go outside the plane and get Bond: “Out there?!..Yes, your excellence.”

I believe he also orders (in Hindu) Khan’s men to go outside the palace and fight Octopussy’s invading force of women once he becomes aware of them.

I’ll even add that I get another chuckle when he and Khan nervously look at each other when their car fails to immediately start when they’re trying to flee the scene of the impending explosion of the atomic bomb in West Berlin.

So Gobinda is more than just a grunter or starer–although admittedly he does have a lot of hard, sinister stares, but he’s good at that and I like him for it–along with everything else about him.

5 Likes
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  1. Jaws TSWLM & MR
  2. Oddjob GF
  3. Red Grant FRWL
  4. Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd DAF
  5. Xenia Onatopp GE
  6. Viona Volpe TB
  7. Fatima Blush NSNA
  8. Gobinda OP
  9. Naomi TSWLM
  10. Stamper TND
  11. Locque FYEO
  12. Tee-Hee LALD
  13. Hans YOLT
  14. May Day AVTAK
  15. Zao DAD
  16. Hinx SP
  17. Necros TLDL
  18. Dario LTK
  19. Nick Nack TMWTGG
  20. Dent Dr. No
  21. Primo NTTD
  22. Patrice SF
  23. Bullion TWINE
  24. Elvis QoS
    OHMSS, CR no idea?
3 Likes