The World, it is said, is not enough and, bored by lockdown, it appears that villainous in-fighting has broken out to such an extent that things have to be settled between the Bond villains.
Accordingly, fate brings forth a series of 12 deathmatches, villain v villain – and you determine who wins, simply by voting for your favourite.
Winner goes through to the next round, loser receives a small funeral service with only pirhanas and a few tearful jumpsuited goons in attendance.
Picking the first round of matches at random from names drawn from the Covid-19 face-covering Mrs Jim has ordered for me (a bucket), there are some interesting encounters and some potential first round giantkillings and clashes of titans (and Titans! Will! Clash!, apparently).
Yes, I know some are tag-teams (eg Whitaker & Koskov) but this is only for giggles, they are fictional and – ultimately – are two heads better than one?
Will cast my eye over the bloodstrewn battlefields in a week from now. Any ties will be administered a coup-de-grace, also known as a flip of a coin. I know that’s unfair but consider who we’re dealing with here, and cope.
Khan and Orlov had a plan that didn’t involve proving they were better than 007, or settling a score with the world fifty years on. Khan didn’t seem to care about being exiled from his homeland and Orlov just wanted to expand his. I’m sure Khan didn’t even care if Orlov’s plan succeeded, as long as there was no fallout on him. Bond didn’t even have it out with either of them.
Mad little Alec was the most well-matched adversary Bond has ever had; equal training, similar experience, plus driven by a thirst for revenge. The only thing he lacked was…class.
Have to go with team Octopussy.
Just like with TND, I will defend 99% of Octopussy (can’t defend the colonial racism). Orlov and Khan were so over the top in the most underrated film. Though, Trevelyan is also one of the best villains. But, this doesn’t specify a difference in versions. The Goldeneye: Reloaded Trevelyan has none of the nuance of the film version and comes off as nothing more than an opportunist.
Jordan and Berkoff are perfectly cast. One a cool strategist, the other a war mongering psychopath.
However, a rogue 00 as Bond’s nemesis was always the one oddly absent road that Eon hadn’t trod. Casting Bean, someone previously mooted to some degree as a potential Bond was a clever move; the jeopardy only works if Trevelyan is Bond’s equal. Rarely has Bond been so well matched… only Red Grant, Scaramanga and Silva can compete.
Bean’s swagger and sardonic turn of phrase give Brosnan a run for his money. Perhaps a foolhardy move to match a debut Bond with someone just as bondian. However it pays off, kudos to Eon, only helping to see what makes Bond Bond by pitting him against a character with many of the same attributes - the same, but different.
It makes for a thrilling series of meetings between them, culminating in Bond’s best fist fight since Red Grant v Connery. It was such a relief to see Bond really have to fight to win, instead of the highly tame PG fair we’d had for decades (I know LTK was 15, but that was likely for the gruesome deaths, rather than the fights).
00 Trevelyan leaves both Khan and Orlov out for the count in round one.
Not to mention, “You have a nasty habit of surviving.”
I love Kamal Khan, and Orlov is great too. In a “who do I like better” deathmatch, I’d go with Khan and Orlov. But if we’re talking physical confrontation, then that has to go with Alec Trevelyan, Agent 006–as he’d tell you, he “was always better.”
