Villain Deathmatch - Round 1 Match 4

  • You Only Live Twice Blofeld
  • Francisco Scaramanga

0 voters

The World, it is said, is not enough and, bored by lockdown, it appears that villainous in-fighting has broken out to such an extent that things have to be settled between the Bond villains.

Accordingly, fate brings forth a series of 12 deathmatches, villain v villain – and you determine who wins, simply by voting for your favourite.

Winner goes through to the next round, loser receives a small funeral service with only pirhanas and a few tearful jumpsuited goons in attendance.

Picking the first round of matches at random from names drawn from the Covid-19 face-covering Mrs Jim has ordered for me (a bucket), there are some interesting encounters and some potential first round giantkillings and clashes of titans (and Titans! Will! Clash!, apparently).

Yes, I know some are tag-teams (eg Whitaker & Koskov) but this is only for giggles, they are fictional and – ultimately – are two heads better than one?

Will cast my eye over the bloodstrewn battlefields in a week from now. Any ties will be administered a coup-de-grace, also known as a flip of a coin. I know that’s unfair but consider who we’re dealing with here, and cope.


I love Lee as Scaramanga!
He has class, is the most dangerous assassin in the world and has this golden gun.
The “That’s no problem!” scene is ultra cool!


I’d rather be Scaramanga with his modest trappings than that wizened, frustrated dwarf in the Mao jacket. Scaramanga had Andrea; all Ernst has was that mangy cat and a $100m debt load.

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But don’t forget he also has a rocketbase, a mono rail and a piranha pond in a secret lair in a volcano! :stuck_out_tongue:

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Indeed, all good points. If it had been YOLT Blofeld vs Stromberg I would have been stuck. But I’m just a low-maintenance kind of guy.

How very dare you! :crazy_face:The cat alone means Blofeld wins. :kissing_cat: I remember an interview with Pleasance where he said they had to have several cats and Mao suits on standby as the cat kept having little accidents. The bit where the roof of the control room collapses and Pleasance heroically stops the cat escaping​:joy_cat: You can watch it all on tv.


James Bond vs Dracula… It’s a wet dream!

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The old Blofeld misunderstanding…

I always thought that it was common knowledge that Blofeld is merely a handler. The true evil mastermind is the cat itself.


This conversation got me thinking:

Blofeld has his monorail, his volcano, his reliably functioning reusable shuttle rocket 50 years before everybody else - early adopter - and a piranha pool. Scaramanga has a golden trick gun, a flying car, a private paradise island, a shooting gallery, a solar-powered laser device and a fully automated junk.

What else do these guys even want? Some villains have to die with nothing but their private nuclear reactors and a laughable toppling device…


Idle time is the devil’s playground, and with these characters in particular being their own boss, boredom ensues and they need to fill in the time somehow. Relaxing by the piranha pool soon wears out its welcome. To answer the question, I say they want to satisfy their own egos that they are intelligent, heavy hitters and be admired by others.


They want what Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg want–more (under the guise of making the world a better place for others). Drax and Stromberg want to build better societies–they just need to annihilate the existing ones first. In both the real world and fictional cases, there is the certainty that what is being done is beneficial. At least DAF Blofeld doesn’t pursue nuclear supremacy to make the world a better place–he just wants to reap the rich rewards of auctioning it off to the highest bidder (in the same way that Willard Whyte sells his products and services to various governments [which is why Blofeld can use Whyte’s empire as cover–they both run similar operations]). Kind of old school in a refreshing way.

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Scaramanga charges a million dollars a hit and wears the highest fashion. Pleasance-Blofeld has claw marks on his suit.


That made me chuckle👏

Blofeld has a far higher cost of staffing. That volcano lair doesn’t maintain itself.


The Man With The Golden Gun, Francisco Scaramanga would eliminate Donald Pleasence’s Ernst Stavro Blofeld.

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Blofeld would no doubt have a glittering end when Scaramanga bangs him.

I suspect the reason Scaramanga’s such a prolific assassin is because it’s the only time he gets laid. It comes just before the kill! Ahem, sorry about the dad joke!!

In a parallel universe perhaps Scaramanga gets his gold bullets manufactured by GF. In that world it’d be interesting if all the books were serialised as one extended story. Bond’s first mission being to track down and kill his mirror image, Scaramanga. His journey starts with a lead named Le Chiffre. The assassin SMERSH use to kill Le Chiffre (and save Bond) is Scaramanga. The bullet retrieved from Le Chiffre is made of gold, leading Bond to its manufacturer, GF and his Grand Slam op. SPECTRE, Tracy and so on could all be linked, ultimately ending in Bond’s amnesia. He’s brainwashed and trained by SMERSH to work alongside Scaramanga - two assassins sent to kill M. Will Bond remember who he is in time to stop Scaramanga?

Would make for a great parallel universe period HBO series, or graphic novel run. Hmm, maybe that’ll be my new lockdown project! Imagine copyright would be a bitch!

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