The Zorin vs Kananga match it a nail biter! Is Zorin allowed to wield that fire axe? In the face of Kananga’s crocodiles? How rude…
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If operating a proportional representation system rather than the first-past-the-post win/lose, calculated on an average share of the vote in their Group Stage deathmatches, the outcomes are marginally different (this may also indicate form / chances of a win in any given match, if you are a wagering person)
Greene - 2% average share of the vote in deathmatches (feeble)
Koskov & Whitaker - 8%
Graves - 17.33%
Stromberg - 21.67%
Kristatos - 27.67%
YOLT Blofeld - 28.33%
Carver - 36.33%
Kamal Khan - 37%
DAFBlo - 43%
Spectre Oberhauser / Blofeld - 44.67%
Trevelyan - 46.33%
Le Chiffre 2006 - 55.33%
Dr Kananga - 56%
Goldfinger - 56.33%
Klebb - 56.33%
Elektra King - 59%
Scaramanga - 59.33%
Sanchez - 65%
Silva - 66.67%
Dr No - 76.67%
Largo - 78.33%
Zorin - 82%
OHMSS Blofeld - 86.67%
Drax - 90%
What does this establish, other than I have too much time on my hands? If the individual groups had been decided this way, it would be Goldfinger and not Dr Kananga into Round 2 as runner-up in that group, and Largo would have won his group with Dr No the runner-up. None of that actually matters. Would you bet against Drax, though?
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YOLT Blofeld is lowest is surprising. OHMSS higher than YOLT even combined with any other Blofeld, is not.
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Drax is an outstanding villain in the entire canon*, standing the test of time against strong competition. To think that critics in 1979 were underwhelmed by Michael Lonsdale’s performance (one calling it ‘played with the charm of a constipated bulldog’ if memory serves). Well, most of those critics are silent now.
*Fleming’s original is particularly interesting since he is indeed the anti-Bond incarnation: a fast cars, fast girls, fast guns guy - but immensely rich, middle aged, lacking self control and moral restraint, even indulging pointless petty cheating at cards. Bond is fascinated to the point of admiration - which makes the reveal of Drax’ true identity even more despicable for him.
With no other villain does Bond spend more time in any of the books. No other villain shares so many traits with his creator (possible exception: Blofeld) or comes so close to being hailed as a national hero - until the bomb drops…
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…and then, as Gustav Graves, he only has a 17.33% chance of a win.
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Very good observation; a miracle that the closer-to-source version doesn’t pack more punch in these matches.
Has to be the Power-Rangers drag.
An observation (stay away if you want to stay spoiler-free for Indy 5):
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Given the latest rumors about Indy 5 (Moon landing and evil Nazi scientists), I see a slim chance that Drax gets another shot, this time with the face of Le Chiffre - Mads Mikkelsen). Of course, it’s all possible that we’ll get Iron Sky instead… 
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He might not be the bad guy?
You’re watching too much Star Wars 
Will nobody ever…
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…start taking care of those swastika flying saucers under Antarctica? And that whole hollow world is nearly entirely left to its own too. Practically home turf for Indy.
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Round 2 complete, but yet… not.
Quarter-Finals will open soon but not… yet.
We need an early Death-Off.
Definitely out in Round 2:
Spectre Oberhauser / Blofeld
Elektra King
Emilio Largo
Definitely into the Quarter-Finals:
Scaramanga v (Lucky Loser) Rosa Klebb - QF1
Franz Sanchez v Max Zorin - QF2
Silva v OHMSS Blofeld - QF3 and a rematch of last year’s final. Ooh.
But
Hugo Drax v …[…] - QF4
Reason for the gap is that Dr No and Dr Kananga both received the same number of votes in their respective matches. However, the match involving Dr No had fewer overall votes so he would be advantaged if being a Lucky Loser on the basis of share of the vote.
The only fair and humane way to decide who goes through as Lucky Loser is for them to try to murder one another. 24 hours to decide, and then the Quarter Finals will open. A penalty shoot-out, with real shooting.
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Decide da devilish doctor deserving Drax…
It’s a Death-Off! Who survives?
- Dr No
- Dr Kananga
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I voted Kananga, but it’s really a debate of when you want Moore v Moore, or Moore v Connery - they may be a Bond’s first…
But they arn’t playing the same game
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If it goes to penalties, I already know who’ll win: Dr No is half German…
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…and a hell of a goalie.
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Safe pair of hands, and his heart’s in the right place.
…ectually, neither of those.
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When you’re at the top of a tree or, in a more grandiose and villainous way, an alp, the only way is down. The mighty have fallen; there will be white smoke. The king is dead. shah mat. You may need to sit down. Hold your breath and “count” to ten. OHMSS Blofeld is out. That bald old Count is gone.
This year’s villain Deathmatch tournament will spew forth a new winner.
Semi-Finals open. Oh, the humanity. Or complete lack of it, given who they are.
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Deathmatch is when Zorin’s Uzi jams, Bald Blofeld takes an early dive down the chimney, Klebb hangs the knuckduster on the mantlepiece and the Germans beat themselves before the penalties.
Mod note to the SPCA: all rodents and Dobermanns in this game are given generous time to digest their food between matches…
In the end, not so close.
Bowing out in fourth place, bit of a surprise given such a strong start, Hugo Drax. Having finished third last year, tournament has to be written up as a disappointment. He won’t be pleased. He will be back. In space, no-one can hear you fail.
Third place to Scaramanga, a consistent performer through the event; can he possibly break through to challenge for the title next time around? Still, a return to his island with his head held high and all nipples pert.
Runner-Up, and perhaps the real surprise of the whole thing, Franz Sanchez. Very much an also-ran last year, and possibly the beneficiary of lucky draws all the way through, but it’s an impressive result for the lad from Isthmus. Some are suspicious about the performance, though, and he is undergoing random drug testing as I write.
Winner, and despite a slightly iffy start a deserving winner - Silva. Last year’s finalist goes one better and proves himself the MVP over the two Villain Deathmatch tournaments so far. What is the secret to his success? Both critics and supporters have it down to his capacity to raise searching questions of his opponents, namely:
- How does he know that Bond will find the casino chip (or even be in Shanghai to do so), then go to the casino on the specific night in question and will beat off (fnarr) the casino thugs and Severine will lure Bond to the island at the precise point that being captured will lead to the precise duration of a journey to London leading to the precise point of escaping at the precise point M is in the hearing?
- How does he know that during London rush hour there will be an empty tube train to fling at Bond? And, still dealing with precision, at that precise point?
(It is said that in response to these questions, Sanchez doused himself in gasoline and danced into the fire, willingly).
Additionally, when Silva gets onto an Octopussy rant (thereby proving himself saner than he looks):
- Why does Bond spend several occasions patently sleeping in and then wandering around in stinking clothes? Octopussy’s island, through the next day and into the following evening - one outfit. Attending the circus in Karl Marx Stadt and stealing an Octopussy circus uniform and then spending a night sleeping in that and then running about all over the place in those clothes and then stealing the already-worn clothes of the (thin) twin he kills? Why do people complain about the clown suit when these were plainly the only clean clothes available (when, for example, did this man in his mid-fifties last change his underpants?) and by the time he finally dons them, he smells like a dead dog’s polyp-riddled anus?
Master of all logic save any of his own, you can see why Silva wins, y’know.
Statistical analysis to follow, then a new Deathmatch run for the end of the week.
In the meantime, all hail Silva. Now, we feast on rat. Plip!
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