Had that with the oysters a few years ago, and to quote Ruby Bartlett: “It’s true!”. Who needs Ozempic? Worst thing about it: it’s impossible for me to eat oysters ever since, a shame.
I’ll take the golden gnu. Will place it on the front lawn, as a revenge for all the gardening atrocities in the neighborhood on which I have to look at every day.
The Tabasco, the oysters, and the Golden Gnu. A culinary feast if there ever was one (all prepared by Nick Nack)
It had to be the tripple nipple! I am already weird anyway.
June 11.
You’re a sensible person but still you wish to watch Spectre because you have decided, rather rashly, that this is a way to waste abut nine hours that you won’t ever claw back. Hey ho, your call.
The only option remains to stream it via Amazon in some way, and you’re given a benevolent out when the film shuts down at the end of the pre-credits. Yet, you wish to persist, you mad fool. To enable the rest of this muddy farce to continue, you have to buy something from what you have just put yourself through. Accordingly:
This time it’s really hard, so many tempting offers…
Sadly, I already own several suits a little bit tight, short and 20 years younger than I am. The FIFA ring is no doubt nice to have but I happen to live in a country that takes an unreasonably dim view on membership in organised crime and I’d be more likely to draw my pension if I were dealing with weapons grade plutonium. For the same reason the Mexico trip is not for me. And the skull mask would probably improve on my current facial expression.
So the choice is between Marmite and the Dalek woman and I take Daleks over Marmite any day.
Possibly a wise call; the Marmite option not only means that everything looks brown but there’s a permanent acidic stinging, although that’s very much the Spectre experience.
The Marmite it is. I’ll place it on a little table next to the golden gnu on my front lawn. And put up a sign which says that people won’t have to see the gnu any longer if they smear it on their eyes.
Come to think of it, as it fits so well to this sort of behaviour, I’ll take the FIFA ring, too.
I’m picking none of these. I’ll leave that to my brother to decide………boom boom.
(well, we’re not actually brothers, it’s a tad more complicated than that)
Hard to decide, all choices immediately put on my Bezos the Beautiful and Baldest-wishlist.
But the FIFA-ring is the frontrunner since one day soon I can offer it to the Orange overlords as a peace prize for any department of war, especially when ceasefires are declared in order to start bombing and ceasefires are still declared intact when bombs are again falling.
Since I am open about my fondness for the film, the mask–though the most attractive option–is unneeded.
I have lost almost 100 lbs., so the suit is an attractive option–though the sales clerk at the store with clothes for larger men said if I lost any more weight, I wouldn’t be able to shop there any more.
Marmite–hard pass.
I don’t watch soccer, so no need for a ticket.
So I guess it is the ring. Maybe it can be an older one with the 1998-2009 logo with the joined balls. Very KiddWint.
I choose none of them. After the openingscene, which is the best part of the movie anyway, it will never be that good again.
Even worse: the ending is actually quite mediocre with a villain who blows up a building that already exploded in the previous film! The rascal!
And, not only that, wasn’t it set to be demolished anyway? Bloferhauser was really just being a helpful supervillain and saving the British taxpayer a bit of money by taking the initiative to become an independent contractor and handle it himself.
It is a very subtle reference to MR novel, where Drax spends his fortune on a rocket ship and “donates” it to the taxpayers of the UK.
You want to watch Licence to Kill.
Wisdom of this aside, you face the standard problem. Someone’s taken away all your hard copies and turned them into much more useful landfill, and you have to stream it. Oh no! Amazon close the film down at the end of the pre-credits (lovely, lovely Amazon) and you have to buy something from that… spectacle before taking the personal lifestyle choice to proceed with the rest of it.
But what?
I’ve been thinking about having my own Baron Samedi effigy for some time. I’d put it in my office, let it look at what I’m doing and how - and after a short while he should be able to do it for me and spare me the effort.
Trouble is, I suspect my masters and keepers would frown upon Baron Samedi, so no deal with that.
I’ll buy the slo-mo pills and if I just take enough of them I may be able to finish a marathon in four hours instead of eight…
MGW voiceover. A BB voiceover berating me would also be satisfying but it is even more fun to be torn apart by the second in command, like being screamed at by Gobinda or Jaws.
I don’t know, I feel it’s only fitting to get that tongueslashing after ridiculing Bond films for decades.
Yet somehow I suspect that MGW is such a decent chap that even at his most aggressive he would be most agreeable.
„You really should not have done that, Sir, most regrettable. Please reconsider.“
It has to be the legendary MGW personal voiceover. He was doing cameo long before Cameo.
Voiceover. I want to hear him say “Plankattack is a bank of tack“ before launching into a poetry slam-style tirade of even greater abuse.
The whip ofcourse, finally I can show who is the boss around here, eh… I am not sure I am?
I need the whip. People seem a bit reluctant when it comes to gathering around my golden gnu and they’re downright uncooperative when I explain about the Marmite part. Some means of enforcement would be very helpful – and also for keeping people in their seats once the movie continues.