Deathmatch 2026

#goals (i of course mean the shoe influencer, not Netflix)

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For my European friends: which is it worse to be a non-royal or a non-worker? I can understand that the combination must be devastating.

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As a non-royal I would have money but work or not work would be definitely less strenuous.

As a worker I would have not enough money and be subject to injury, job loss and mind-killing tasks.

Hmmm. But royals do have some weird shit going on, so…

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Two main differences if you are not a Royal:

-as a kid you are not dragged in front of the public when your mother dies in a car crash caused by a paparazzi chase, and

-as a senior you are not pimped out to some disgusting troll to keep in the good books of the slobbering creature.

There are of course a number of minor differences, bank account balances, the degree of public property a Royal is considered to be, the likelihood Netflix minces your ancestry into some Barbour soap so on so forth.

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Just one round left for Story, the form table after the Semi-Finals stands as:

Form (% shift) Place shift
1 From Russia with Love 93.65 (+0.07) +1
2 OHMSS 88.67 (-4.98) -1
3 Casino Royale 83.6 (-7.07) -
4 The Spy who Loved Me 66.27
5 Skyfall 61.97 (-) +1
6 Goldfinger 57.54 (-8.61) -1
7 Tomorrow Never Dies 53.34
8 GoldenEye 52.04
9 For Your Eyes Only 51.5
10 Thunderball 51.12
11 Licence to Kill 51.1
12 Moonraker 47.3
13 Live and Let Die 40.92
14 The Living Daylights 40.2
15 No Time to Die 40
16 Dr No 40
17 YOLT 37.5
18 Octopussy 33.35
19 DAF 32.18
20 QoSolace 28.1
21 TWINE 27.95
22 AVTAK 26.45
23 TMwtGGun 19.45
24 Spectre 18.05
25 DAD 12.5

With a context appropriate rise in its percentage form, From Russia with Love reclaims top spot, but with the top two slugging it out in the final round, can that hold? Depending on how the 3rd place death-off plays out, Goldfinger could drop below a Brosnan. Or two. Hmm.

MY GOD IT IS SO TENSE THAT I HAVE EMITTED HOT TOFFEE ONCE MORE.

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With the new category of Story now complete, overall positions and usual round-up to hurt your head.

Knockout outcomes - Story

2026
W From Russia with Love
2 OHMSS
3 Casino Royale
4 Goldfinger

Knockout outcomes per category to date - 2026

Villain Music Action & Stunts Bond Woman Hench Story
Winner Moonraker OHMSS TSWLM From Russia with Love OHMSS From Russia with Love From Russia with Love
Runner-Up Skyfall Live and Let Die Casino Royale TSWLM Casino Royale Goldfinger OHMSS
3rd Goldfinger Thunderball OHMSS Goldfinger Goldfinger TSWLM Casino Royale
4th From Russia with Love Moonraker Thunderball Casino Royale TSWLM Diamonds are Forever Goldfinger

2026 was the first year of the Story category, but looking at this year’s trend, some familiar names in there. Maybe they should only have made about 10 of these things.

Final Form Table - Story

Form (% shift) Place shift
1 From Russia with Love 90.28 (-3.37) -
2 Casino Royale 83.28 (-0.32) +1
3 OHMSS 81.75 (-6.92) -1
4 The Spy who Loved Me 66.27
5 Skyfall 61.97
6 Tomorrow Never Dies 53.34 (-) +1
7 Goldfinger 52.73 (-4.81) -1
8 GoldenEye 52.04
9 For Your Eyes Only 51.5
10 Thunderball 51.12
11 Licence to Kill 51.1
12 Moonraker 47.3
13 Live and Let Die 40.92
14 The Living Daylights 40.2
15 No Time to Die 40
16 Dr No 40
17 YOLT 37.5
18 Octopussy 33.35
19 DAF 32.18
20 QoSolace 28.1
21 TWINE 27.95
22 AVTAK 26.45
23 TMwtGGun 19.45
24 Spectre 18.05
25 DAD 12.5

A weirdly-voiced maniac wants to set off a weapon to destroy a major economy. His female sidekick has a lewd name and there’s an Aston Martin DB5 in it. One of these films is GoldenEye. The other is Goldfinger. Apparently one of their stories is better than the other. Just.

Two Brosnans in a Top Ten; that’s new. Interesting that early favourite OHMSS dropped off quite a bit but that may just be luck of the draw.

Most Valuable Player

Placings Wins Top Tens Top Form Points
FRWL 4 3 6 2 15
OHMSS 4 2 6 2 14
Goldfinger 5 0 6 1 12
TSWLM 4 1 6 1 12
CRoyale 4 0 6 0 10
Moonraker 2 1 5 1 9
Thunderball 2 0 6 0 8
Skyfall 1 0 4 0 5
LALD 1 0 2 0 3
DAF 1 0 2 0 3

A clean sweep of both knockout and form by From Russia with Love sees it rise to the top. Moonraker might be out of this World, but I fear it may be out of this ranking too - seems to have recently stagnated. But I have been wrong before. Usually about Moonraker.

Top Ten of Everything to Date

6 visits to Top Ten 5 visits to Top Ten 4 visits to Top Ten 3 visits to Top Ten 2 visits to Top Ten 1 visit to Top Ten Yet to bother the scorers
FRWL Moonraker LTK FYEO Dr No YOLT TMwtGG
Goldfinger Skyfall TLD DAF AVTAK Octopussy
Thunderball TND LALD QoSolace TWINE
OHMSS GoldenEye Spectre DAD
TSWLM No Time to Die
CRoyale

Last year, Tomorrow Never Dies never managed to haul itself out of the Zero Pit, so definitely something there and perhaps the new categories have played to its advanatge, having done pretty well in both. This year’s massive underachiever so far - No Time to Die.

Seeds and Pots 2027

2025 2026 Average form Seed/Pot 2027
Dr No 15 16 15.5 Pot 2
FRWL 7 1 4 Seed 3
Goldfinger 1 7 4 Seed 5
Thunderball 4 10 7 Seed 6
YOLT 8 17 12.5 Pot 1
OHMSS 3 3 3 Seed 1
DAF 9 19 14 Pot 2
LALD 11 13 12 Pot 1
TMwtGGun 22 23 22.5 Pot 3
TSWLM 2 4 3 Seed 2
Moonraker 5 12 8.5 Seed 8
FYEO 13 9 11 Seed 9
Octopussy 17 18 17.5 Pot 2
AVTAK 19 22 20.5 Pot 2
TLD 14 14 14 Pot 1
LTK 20 11 15.5 Pot 2
GoldenEye 16 8 12 Pot 1
TND 18 6 12 Seed 10
TWINE 24 21 22.5 Pot 3
DAD 25 25 25 Pot 3
C Royale 6 2 4 Seed 4
QoS 23 20 21.5 Pot 3
Skyfall 10 5 7.5 Seed 7
Spectre 21 24 22.5 Pot 3
NTTD 12 15 13.5 Pot 1

The 2025 score is where they finished overall in The Final Reckoning, this being a new category. As a result, quite a lot of deviation from that standard, although there are some rather remarkable consistencies too. Might take another year for this to settle completely.

Bonus Points

Film Bonus Points
1 Licence to Kill 52
2 Tomorrow Never Dies 51
3 From Russia with Love 25
4 Quantum of Solace 20
5 Moonraker 16
6 The Living Daylights 14
7 Skyfall 13
8 TWINE 12
9 OHMSS 11
10 A View to a Kill 6
11 For Your Eyes Only 2
12 Casino Royale 2
13 Octopussy 1
14 Die Another Day 1
15 GoldenEye 0
16 Spectre -2
17 TMwtGGun -5
18 The Spy who Loved Me -5
19 Thunderball -9
20 No Time to Die -11
21 Live and Let Die -14
22 Dr No -17
23 You Only Live Twice -18
24 Goldfinger -28
25 Diamonds are Forever -36

As a result of that approach to the Seeds and Pots, quite a lot of big bad hurty time here in the Bonus Points, but it’s becoming quite interesting at the top. Tomorrow Never Dies never dies, it seems.

Top Tens 2026 as voted for by you persons

Villain Music Action & Stunts Bond Woman Hench Story
One Moonraker On Her Majesty’s Secret Service The Spy who Loved Me From Russia with Love On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Goldfinger From Russia with Love
Two On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Thunderball On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Casino Royale Casino Royale From Russia with Love Casino Royale
Three Goldfinger You Only Live Twice Casino Royale Thunderball Goldfinger The Spy who Loved Me OHMSS
Four A View to a Kill Goldfinger For Your Eyes Only Goldfinger From Russia with Love GoldenEye The Spy who Loved Me
Five Thunderball Moonraker Licence to Kill The Spy who Loved Me The Spy who Loved Me Thunderball Skyfall
Six Licence to Kill Diamonds are Forever Skyfall The Living Daylights Thunderball Diamonds are Forever Tomorrow Never Dies
Seven Skyfall The Living Daylights Live and Let Die Moonraker Dr No The Living Daylights Goldfinger
Eight The Spy who Loved Me Casino Royale Tomorrow Never Dies Skyfall Tomorrow Never Dies OHMSS GoldenEye
Nine Casino Royale Live and Let Die Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Moonraker Licence to Kill For Your Eyes Only
Ten From Russia with Love From Russia with Love Quantum of Solace Dr No Licence to Kill Spectre Thunderball
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I wonder whether CR fares so well because it does not have a space laser or a giant Ken Adam lair. But is that really a better story to have a guy sit at a casino table and play cards? And get beaten into his privates badly yet can have wild sex in his hospital bed a few weeks later?

As usually, CR gets a lot of overrating, methinks.

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Looking at it now it seems to me story was really overdue; a category to measure the satisfaction gained by the payoff a film offers. That’s where CASINO ROYALE shines; our guy has really had it at the end of the second act(-ish; Bond films often muddle the three-act form a little).

The genius move is having Bond with his signature line at the very end. It’s one of the best payoffs a fan could wish for.

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A lot of it was the excitement of an early years story with character growth that was justified. The action around the casino sequences is really good, particularly the parkour chase. The whole film felt full of energy, from You Know My Name to Craig’s performance.

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The Group Stage for Main Titles now done, it all splays itself invitingly as:

Group A Played W D L F A GD % Points
Casino Royale 4 4 0 0 66 6 60 91.65 12
Live and Let Die 4 3 0 1 40 30 10 57.95 9
Diamonds are Forever 4 2 0 2 34 36 -2 49 6
Octopussy 4 1 0 3 17 52 -35 25 3
The Living Daylights 4 0 0 4 18 51 -33 26.4 0

That’s a fearsome opening performance by the top Seed and likely favourite. Can anything stop it? The general perception that things were on the slide in the 1980s (health? budget?) is given some weight by neither of the bottom two getting through. Diamonds are Forever is a Lucky Loser, and even with its exploding skulls and wild waving women, Live and Let Die, albeit a runner-up, struggles a bit, there.

Group B Played W D L F A GD % Points
OHMSS 4 4 0 0 53 15 38 77.95 12
Moonraker 4 3 0 1 47 21 26 69.13 9
DAD 4 2 0 2 33 33 0 50.9 6
FYEO 4 1 0 3 26 40 -14 39.88 3
Licence to Kill 4 0 0 4 8 58 -50 12.08 0

At least the second time Die Another Day has qualified for the Second Round of this category - it is notoriously hopeless everywhere else - and that’s one Brosnan through. The two representatives of the 1980s - no.

Group C Played W D L F A GD % Points
YOLT 4 4 0 0 44 22 22 66.83 12
Goldfinger 4 3 0 1 45 21 24 68.58 9
NTTD 4 2 0 2 36 32 4 52.93 6
TWINE 4 1 0 3 29 36 -7 44.68 3
TMwtGGun 4 0 0 4 11 54 -43 17 0

Albeit finishing with better form, having lost its match with You Only Live Twice, Goldfinger finishes second in the group. This might be sneaky work, given how the Second Round draw works. No Time to Die’s titles, given all that time they had to work on them, seem a bit underpowered and scrappy to me (what’s that frogman doing there?). TWINE squeaks into the Second Round as a Lucky Loser, just, and even the very obviously naked women of The Man with the Golden Gun cannot save it, again.

Group D Played W D L F A GD % Points
GoldenEye 4 4 0 0 45 19 26 70.34 12
Thunderball 4 3 0 1 40 24 16 62.49 9
FRWL 4 2 0 2 32 32 0 50.03 6
Spectre 4 1 0 3 21 42 -21 33.62 3
QoSolace 4 0 0 4 21 42 -21 33.54 0

Another Brosnan through, although perhaps not as much of a surprise as the other two so far. Always does pretty well. Spectre and Quantum of Solace very close and perhaps the ones for Quantum of Solace were a bit too different.

Group E Played W D L F A GD % Points
TSWLM 4 4 0 0 50 16 34 76.1 12
Skyfall 4 3 0 1 54 11 44 83.65 9
TND 4 2 0 2 33 32 1 51.19 6
Dr No 4 1 0 3 18 46 -28 28.13 3
AVTAK 4 0 0 4 7 57 -50 10.94 0

At Group Stage, it’s basically all about the wins, so although Skyfall has a markedly higher form outcome, it lost its match to The Spy who Loved Me so is only Runner-Up. All the Brosnans through to the Second Round - am pretty sure that has never happened in any category before - and nothing from the 1980s through, which probably has.

Form table after Group Stage - Titles

Form Seed Group Outcome
1 Casino Royale 91.65 1 Winner A
2 Skyfall 83.65 6 Runner-Up E
3 OHMSS 77.95 2 Winner B
4 TSWLM 76.1 5 Winner E
5 GoldenEye 70.34 4 Winner D
6 Moonraker 69.13 9 Runner-Up B
7 Goldfinger 68.58 8 Runner-Up C
8 You Only Live Twice 66.83 3 Winner C
9 Thunderball 62.49 7 Runner-Up D
10 Live and Let Die 57.95 10 Runner-Up A
11 No Time to Die 52.93 Lucky Loser 1
12 TND 51.19 Lucky Loser 2
13 Die Another Day 50.9 Lucky Loser 3
14 FRWL 50.03 Lucky Loser 4
15 DAF 49 Lucky Loser 5
16 TWINE 44.68 Lucky Loser 6
17 FYEO 39.88
18 Spectre 33.62
19 QoSolace 33.54
20 Dr No 28.13
21 The Living Daylights 26.4
22 Octopussy 25
23 TMwtGGun 17
24 Licence to Kill 12.08
25 A View to a Kill 10.94

Seeds are a bit of a mess, and the sets of titles not getting through tells a bit of a sorry tale about getting into something of a creative rut.

Bonus Points after Group Stage - Titles

Film Bonus Points
1 Licence to Kill 53
2 Tomorrow Never Dies 53
3 From Russia with Love 30
4 Quantum of Solace 21
5 Moonraker 17
6 The Living Daylights 11
7 OHMSS 10
8 TWINE 9
9 Skyfall 9
10 Octopussy 4
11 Die Another Day 4
12 Casino Royale 4
13 GoldenEye 3
14 For Your Eyes Only 2
15 A View to a Kill -1
16 Spectre -3
17 TMwtGGun -6
18 TSWLM -6
19 Thunderball -10
20 Dr No -12
21 No Time to Die -12
22 Live and Let Die -15
23 You Only Live Twice -19
24 Goldfinger -27
25 Diamonds are Forever -37

Still with quite a few categories to come before the end of the year, it’s pretty tight there. Except if you are Diamonds are Forever, but then you have more extensive and serious things to worry you anyway.

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Main Title Sequences Second Round done, form table is:

Form (% shift) Place shift
1 Casino Royale 92.2 (+0.55) -
2 Skyfall 80.26 (-3.39) -
3 OHMSS 77.92 (-0.03) -
4 The Spy who Loved Me 75.32 (-0.78) -
5 You Only Live Twice 71.24 (+4.41) +3
6 GoldenEye 70.71 (+0.37) -1
7 Moonraker 62.3 (-3.83) -1
8 Goldfinger 61.52 (-7.06) -1
9 Thunderball 60 (-2.49) -
10 Live and Let Die 57.48 (-0.47) -
11 From Russia with Love 48.9 (-1.13) +3
12 Tomorrow Never Dies 45.39 (-5.8) -
13 Diamonds are Forever 44.76 (-4.24) +2
14 No Time to Die 43.46 (-9.47) -3
15 Die Another Day 42.94 (-7.96) -2
16 TWINE 41.3 (-3.38) -
17 FYEO 39.88
18 Spectre 33.62
19 QoSolace 33.54
20 Dr No 28.13
21 The Living Daylights 26.4
22 Octopussy 25
23 TMwtGGun 17
24 Licence to Kill 12.08
25 A View to a Kill 10.94

Casino Royale ominously getting stronger, the Second Round does what it usually does and creates some notable ups and downs. Moonraker gets through from its draw with Thunderball, but Thunderball seems still a fair bet for yet another top ten finish and it’s definitely possible that Moonraker may end up dropping below it.

MY GOD IT IS SO TENSE THAT I HAVE DECLARED MYSELF INDEPENDENT FROM THE REST OF THE UK AND HAVE SET MYSELF UP AS A TAX HAVEN. SEND ME ALL YOUR MONEY. GO ON.

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Quarter-Finals for Main Title Sequences all done and lovely, the form table gyrates itself nakedly afore ye as:

Form (% shift) Place shift
1 Casino Royale 90.87 (-1.33) -
2 OHMSS 76.33 (-1.59) +1
3 Skyfall 75.65 (-4.61) -1
4 You Only Live Twice 70.77 (-0.47) +1
5 GoldenEye 66.83 (-3.88) +1
6 The Spy who Loved Me 65.4 (-9.92) -2
7 Goldfinger 61.52 (-) +1
8 Thunderball 60 (-) +1
9 Moonraker 59.68 (-5.62) -2
10 Live and Let Die 53.17 (-4.31) -
11 From Russia with Love 48.9
12 Tomorrow Never Dies 45.39
13 Diamonds are Forever 44.76
14 No Time to Die 43.46
15 Die Another Day 42.94
16 TWINE 41.3
17 FYEO 39.88
18 Spectre 33.62
19 QoSolace 33.54
20 Dr No 28.13
21 The Living Daylights 26.4
22 Octopussy 25
23 TMwtGGun 17
24 Licence to Kill 12.08
25 A View to a Kill 10.94

Some movement here and there and “interesting” that You Only Live Twice seems to be gaining, round on round. How long that lasts may be uncertain, although it’s a Semi-Finalist and Semi-Finals are hard to predict. Top Ten may now be sorted but within that group, still capacity for liquid movement, a bit like all those nudey ladies in the titles themselves.

MY GOD IT IS SO TENSE THAT I MIGHT WELL ACCEPT THE OFFER TO BECOME THE NEW MANAGER OF PRESTON NORTH END.

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