Is it a phone? Is it a watch? No, it’s the
Caviar James Bond “No Time to Die Edition” Apple iPhone 17 Pro Max with integrated Omega Seamaster
For only $49.000
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Phew, lucky I just replaced mine with a 16…
Addendum: This is effectively a merchandise article on a film now almost five years old. Is that perhaps an indication Omega’s partnership with 007 is coming to a close?
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Who cares about this? What I want to know is where I can get my Licence to Kill branded early 90s brick phone.
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The Bond fan of me loves it but…um…what’s a nice way of saying f### ugly?
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‘It’s nice to know it exists.’ I heard a gentleman reply to his wife and the shop assistant when they tried to tempt him to buy some perfume called “Million” (or a similarly obnoxious vulgar oligarch label).
Since then I wait for the right occasion to use that phrase…
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This is incredible! It answers so many questions that have plagued me for so long:
- I enjoy spending ridiculous sums on time pieces but I worry that, expensive as they are, Omega watches are still too practical when worn on the wrist. Isn’t there some way I can keep one in my pocket?
- I worry people might not be jealous enough when I pull up my sleeve to check the time on an ostentatious watch. How great would it be if, when asked the time, I could make a big show of reaching into my pants pocket to pull out an overpriced phone AND watch in one?
- Phones can’t get big enough or heavy enough to suit me. Why can’t someone make a phone with a bulbous protrusion so it makes an even larger bulge in my pocket, and puts more strain on my belt?
- Omega watches are built tough, so it’s always a challenge scratching or cracking the crystal. What if there were a way to keep it rubbing up against my car keys all day long to make that job easier?
- Sure, Apple can be counted on to turn any iPhone into a brick by eventually releasing a software version it can’t support. But I worry that when that day comes, I won’t feel cheated enough. Is there a way to heighten my eventual rage and frustration by increasing my investment to the level of a new car purchase?
- I worry that buying merchandise at the height of a film’s marketing push makes me look like an easy mark. I need a product promoting a film that left the cinema half a decade ago.
- Thirty years is a long time to be married to the same woman. How can I find a way to end a marriage in one easy move?
I can’t believe they’re only making 7 of these things when they answer the needs of so many consumers. If nothing else, it’s the ultimate “conversation piece,” sparking such lines of conversation as “what the hell is that hideous thing” and “have you completely lost your mind?”
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They should absolutely offer some kind of ‘protective case’ for this, made from platinum. Plus a Prada holster so one can wear it comfortably sitting on the forehead…
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And maybe a screen protector made of diamonds.
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I’m really tempted to contact a manager, suggesting a studio that wants to remain coughanonymouscough for the time being was interested in producing a live action tournament series whittling the number of prospective buyers down to seven. Start with mercenary teams of ten for every contestant, then going gradually more personal over six episodes until the final battle is 70 hopeful contenders duking it out on a remote island between Japan and Russia* until only a lucky seven are left alive…
*Note to legal department: Make sure no Hunger Games lawsuit spoils the fun.
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Doesn’t…doesn’t the phone already keep the time?
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Not vulgarly flashy enough. They’re working on a version where a little cloned servant from one of the lesser human subcultures resides inside the case and announces the time at the push of a button - in 136 languages but always with a funny accent…
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BTW, one of the things I’m hoping from the Amazon takeover is that we may finally get some fun and affordable Bond merchandise – even it’s totally at “tchotchke” level – instead of this endless parade of “prestige” items affordable only to oligarchs, tech billionaires and trust fund kids yet somehow still as tacky and vulgar as a Chia Pet or singing fish from K-Mart.
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The big problem of the Bond merchandise is that they effectively have been catering to the Bond villain demographic for decades.
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I am not sure I understand what that means?
Stuff the Goldfingers, Scaramangas and Draxes would buy to impress all the other Goldfingers, Scaramangas and Draxes they compete with.
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Somehow I don’t see Goldfinger or Scaramanga with this kind of merchandise, but I can be wrong ofcourse:
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Currently $123 at the 007 store when you could make your own for less than 5 bucks. It kind of counts.
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Wow. That’s just ridiculous.
I’ll wait for the Amazon Basics edition.
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That toy is one of the ugliest things to ever “grace” a Bond film. Dou-Dou is right.
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